Page 55 of Cruel Dreams

“Ash used her to spy on me and to pretend he valued our friendship. I used her to forget about you, and that’s exactly what he wanted. I was a fool. I’ve broken every promise I’ve ever made to you, and I know you’re thinking about starting overwhen you don’t need to be in the city anymore. I’m asking for a lot hoping maybe one day we can date a little. Get to know each other. Maybe start something real.”

“I love you, but this has all been so much. I’m going to need time, Zane.” She adverts her gaze and stares at a planter of flowers near our lounger.

“I know you will, baby, and I’ll give it to you. As much as you need. I promise.” I grimace. I need to stop telling her that.

“Thanks.”

“Have you talked to Quinn?”

“About what?” Stella tucks her hand under her cheek, and I brush the hair out of her eyes. Her hair is growing longer again, though I may never be able to enjoy wrapping my hands up in it.

“About what she’s going to do?”

“She’s always wanted to be a clothing designer,” she says faintly, her thoughts far away in memory. “But she’s never been able to afford school.”

“If I pay her tuition, will she go?”

Laughing, she asks, “Is that you getting her out of the way?”

“No. She’s been a rock for you, and I would never do something like that. I want to thank her for everything she’s done. If she wants to study fashion design in New York, or London, or Paris, then she should.”

Sadness creeps over her features, and my heart cracks. “She would love that, but I’ll miss her.”

“What do you want, Stella? I want to give you whatever I can so that you’re happy for the rest of your life.”

Tears drip down her cheeks, and I brush them away with the pads of my thumbs.

“I want a home.”

I can interpret that a million different ways, but I only want it to mean one—her marrying me and us being a family. “Whatwould you think if I sold company? Or I can hire someone to run it and hold it in trust until Zarah’s ready to take it over.”

She sniffles. “You love Maddox Industries.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Stella,” I say urgently, sitting up and capturing her face between my palms. “I will never love anything more than I love you. I fucked up. I keep fucking up. The only way to make you believe me is to stop talking and start doing. We can’t have a life if I’m working sixty hours a week.”

“What would we do?”

“Build a house somewhere. Be together.” I rest a hand on her belly. “Start our family. Neither of us would have to work...” She parts her lips, but I rest a finger over them. “But I know it’s important to you to help people in need. We’ll run our foundation.”

Shaking her head, she says, “I can’t let you give up your company. It’s your father’s legacy.”

“If it meant I could keep you, I’d give it all up.” Every word is the truth, but all I’ve done is talk. She won’t believe me anymore, and that’s my own fault.

She rests her head on my shoulder and cries, heart-wrenching sobs that shake my body and drench my shirt.

I don’t let myself read too much into her tears, but I hope she’ll think about my offer.

Denton wasn’t interested when I asked him to come back to the company, but maybe he would if I offered him a presidential role. Maybe working with me and not my father didn’t appeal to him, but if he worked alone, that would be different somehow.

I can ask Larry Cramer, too, and see where he’s been and what he’s doing now, or I can ask Nigel Wagner to recommend someone. All I know is, if I don’t give Stella and me a real chance, we won’t survive as a couple.

“I’m sorry,” she says, lifting her head. “I’m a little emotional.”

“You have every reason to be.” I glance at my watch. “We better head upstairs and get ready. Banks has probably been trying to call, and I left my cell upstairs so that we could have a few minutes alone.”

Stella presses her salty lips to mine, and I lift her into my lap.

“It’s going to work out.” I can promise her that, at least. Promise I’ll provide everything she needs even if she chooses a life without me in it.

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