Page 23 of Cruel Dreams

Stella slips into my arms and I cry into her hair. How do I tell her I can’t let her go on a plane? How do I tell her I haven’t flown since my parents’ crash? How do I tell her I love her so much I’ll be catatonic until she comes back? How do I tell her if she dies in a crash, I’d as soon take my own life than live without her?

It turns out I don’t have to say anything at all.

“I’ll stay here. I’m sorry. I didn’t think. None of us did.”

Her sacrifice shames me. Mel wanted her to go and experience new things, and she’s willing to give that up. I can’t let her do that. She’s already lost five years of her life for me. Because of me. I’m a selfish bastard and always have been, but if I want to keep Stella, I have to let her go.

I wipe my face and clear my throat. “No. I...I want you to go. It’s my own fault I haven’t dealt with this properly.”

She pulls away, and I can’t help but appreciate how pretty she looks in her disguise. She’s wearing a white and green summer dress that makes her green eyes pop thanks to the contacts Mel ordered and her red hair shines like a brand new penny. She’s sexy, and I want to keep her here, keep her safe, chain her to my bed and make love to her twenty-four hours a day.

She’s excited to travel.

I can’t let her know how much that hurts me. How I’m not enough.

“Are you sure?” she asks, rubbing my chest.

“I’m sure. Just promise you’ll be careful. I can’t be in this world without you in it,” I rasp, my voice close to breaking like my heart already is.

“Don’t talk like that. Zarah needs you, and you have to finish this for your parents. Max and I will get the recording, and we’ll put Clayton in prison where he belongs. I promise.”

I jerk her against me and kiss her, bruising her lips. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I hug her so tightly her spine cracks. I grip her ass and mold my body to hers, trying so hard to tell her how much I love her in a single kiss.

Reluctantly, I put her down. I need to let them leave or they’ll be late.

“I love you, Stella.” Such simple, complicated words.

“I love you, too.” She pauses. “Zane, I know I go back and forth, hot and cold, but...”

Preparing to hear bad news, I tense. She’s made her decision that we go our separate ways.

“...I can’t live without you, either.” She pushes her lips to mine, hard, and hurries around the corner.

I blow out a breath. Maybe I haven’t ruined things. Maybe I still have a chance.

I step into the lobby, and Max is cuddling Zarah, smoothing her hair, his lips pressed to her cheek.

She looks a little better, too. Maybe the distance will be good for her. Max is a great guy and is becoming a close friend, but I don’t like how serious they turned so fast.

The taxi driver shoves Max’s and Stella’s suitcases into the trunk, and she lifts a hand in goodbye. They ordered a taxi because that’s what normal people do. Douglas wanted to drive them, but they need to look as inconspicuous as possible.

They drive away and we can’t see the taxi anymore, but Zarah and I stand on the sidewalk long after it’s gone. We hold hands, drawing strength from each other.

“They’ll be okay,” she says.

“I hope so.” I wish I could be as optimistic as she is.

I ask her to rest, and she agrees to nap, Ingrid keeping watch over her. In the Honeymoon Suite, I hide under the covers in bed like a kid, shaking, until Mel pokes her head into my room and tells me they landed safely.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Stella

I’m glad Zane brought me here already and the airport’s familiar, otherwise it would have been a lot worse than it is. The thought of flying didn’t bother me until it was time to go through security. Then everything was suddenly too real.

We didn’t browse like Zane and I did. Zane’s panic attack in the Crowne’s lobby put us behind and we didn’t have time.

While we wait in line, Max talks me through what will happen, but he doesn’t prepare me for the TSA agent’s questions. She studies my driver’s license and looks at me, glances down at my driver’s license and squints into my eyes, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst. “Your license says you have blue eyes,” she says.