Page 85 of Cruel Dreams

“I promise.”

I kiss her forehead and turn off the light.

Zane still sleeps in his childhood bedroom, not having moved into the master suite. He’s lying in bed, wearing only his Rolex and a smile.

I undress and crawl into bed. “I think I’m ready. Zarah’s so brave, and if she can be that brave, so can I.”

He sighs, and I know he wouldn’t complain if I told him I didn’t want to meet my parents. He’s scared of what it will do to us, but I have to believe that if our love has been strong enough to get us to where we are, then it’s strong enough to withstand anything.

“In the morning, I’ll call Banks and he’ll reach out to your mom and dad,” he says.

“Thank you.”

He wraps his arms around me. “God, I love you, Stella.”

“I love you, too.”

I don’t fall asleep for a long time, but it isn’t fear that keeps me awake.

It’s the infinite, and frightening, possibilities.

Zane contacts Banks that afternoon. He’s tense, his muscles rigid as he speaks to the FBI agent. It’s difficult for him to push me in one direction when he wants to pull me in the other, but he’s selfless enough to do it anyway.

Special Agent Banks offers to fly to King’s Crossing and then to Orlando so I don’t have to meet my parents alone. He says he’ll alert them I’ve been located and book a flight from DC as soon as he can.

As a distraction, Zane helps me unpack the clothes Mel bought, and the dresses, skirts, and blouses Zarah and I shopped for that were still in my apartment, and hang them in his closet. “You don’t need to keep it, do you?” he asks, referring to my apartment.

Letting go of the only place I called home since I moved out of Maryanne’s sends goosebumps rising along my skin. Do I trust Zane will take care of me when I have nowhere else to go? Even though I know Zane owns the building, the apartment still kind of feels like mine. I push my fear away. If I can’t move forward with him, then we have nothing. “I’d like time to go through the rest of my things,” I try to say calmly, but my voice wavers.

“I’ll have everything boxed up and put into storage, then you can go through it anytime. You don’t have to get rid of anything.”

I open my mouth, an objection fast on my lips.

Flicking a glance at me, he pauses, holding a hanger in one hand and a dress in the other. “I want you to run to me if you’rescared or if you need someone, not hide from me there, but it’s not fair to ask you to give up the one place where you feel the most comfortable. I’m sorry. We don’t have to empty out your apartment if you don’t want to.”

“No, you’re right. I love you, and I don’t need it anymore. Pack up everything, and I’ll go through it when I come back.”

His face evens out with my agreement. “All right.”

He sinks onto his bed, and I hang up the silk dress wrapped around his hand. He has plenty of space in his closet and fitting my clothes on “my side” isn’t a problem.

“What’s the matter?” I ask, crawling into his lap.

“It’s time for me to move forward, too. I’ve been living like my parents are going to come back, but they’re not. I’ve kept the penthouse the same as it was the day my parents left for that wedding. I haven’t renovated or moved into their room, and their master suite is still full of their things. Now that Zarah and I know the truth about their deaths, it’s time to put it away. You aren’t the only one who’s been scared of the future.” He twists the ring on my finger. “I don’t want to start anything until you come back and tell me what you like. I can start in the kitchen because that’s Lucille’s territory, and Zarah can redecorate her room if she wants to. You’re going to be Mrs. Maddox, and I want you to have a say...”

He looks miserable.

“Zane . . .”

“I can’t ask you to promise me you’ll come back, but I’m not going to lie, Stella, it will feel like I’m holding my breath until you’re with me again.”

His pain breaks my heart. It always has, and I will always do everything in my power to keep him from hurting. I feather my lips over his jaw, clinging to his shoulders, and his arms hold me tightly against his chest.

“I don’t have to go.” Saying it is a relief. So many expectations. As much as I’ve wanted parents, it terrifies me. I told Quinn I’m afraid they won’t like me, but that was only a small thing I’m worried about. No, I’m afraid they don’t still love me, that they’ve forgotten about me. That there’s no room in their lives for me anymore.

“Yes, you do. By now Banks has told them they found you. They’ll be over the moon to hear you’re safe, that some psycho hasn’t been torturing you. They’ll want to see that for themselves. There’s no way you can do that to them.”

I swallow. Banks already told them. I can’t back out now. “I’m nervous.”

---