Page 111 of Cruel Hearts

She holds my hand, and I struggle not to grasp it like a lifeline.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“No, I am. I was too naïve. Too trusting. I was too closed-minded, and I’ve hurt a lot of people.”

“Not trusting people can hurt, too. All my life I searched for grownups I could trust and depend on, and no one ever stepped up until Maryanne. I made her work for it, too. In the end, if you don’t trust anyone, you live a lonely life.”

“You have people you can trust now.” I pull my hand away. “Denton, Quinn. Mel. Zarah and Max.” There’s no point in including myself. I lost her trust a long time ago, and I haven’t earned it back yet.

She lifts a corner of her mouth in a sad smile, knowing what I said...or didn’t say. “Are you staying here? Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“I shouldn’t, but I don’t want to be alone right now. I would like that.”

She crawls under the bedspread and curls her body next to mine, and I turn off the light and set my cell phone on the nightstand. She snuggles into me, and I breathe her in. I lay with my arms wrapped around her as her heart beats against my chest.

She’s my whole life, this woman resting her head on my shoulder. Tearing down Clayton and Ash’s empire is nothing compared to losing her. Living without her is scarier than facing Ash.

But if I have to, I’ll do both.

I dress for dinner at the penthouse. Elegant and expensive, Luna Blanc is one of Ash’s properties. I don’t know who will be there or who Ash’s date will be, and we need to make a good impression. Earlier, I pushed down a sick feeling in my gut and gave Nathalie permission to go shopping. I’m afraid she won’t follow my orders and she’ll try to run away. Everyone thinks I’m a prick, but I really do care about her safety. After our engagement is announced, her spending my money like a giddy fiancée will be expected, and at some point, I’ll need to trust her to be alone.

I didn’t think Ash would run with the news the way he did, but he would have questioned my sincerity and motives if I’d declined his invitation. After all, not just anyone would pay two million dollars to buy a woman they didn’t love.

Ash didn’t think I was that kind of a man, and two weeks ago, I wasn’t.

Stella changed me.

She saved me from the type of man I should never have become.

Nathalie walks upstairs, several bags hanging from her arms and her hair pinned into a fancy twist. She’s serious about it, at least, but she’s not happy and doesn’t speak to me.

Before Nathalie and I left the hotel, Stella didn’t, either. When I woke up, she was gone, and she spent the day glued to Mel and Quinn, putting as much distance between us as she possibly could. She doesn’t like my faux relationship with Nathalie, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

Nathalie slips on a scrap of a dress, barely any material, and only a web of straps crisscrossing her back keeps it from pooling around her feet. She’s gorgeous, and if Stella hadn’t escaped Ash’s, had I still been blind to what he was doing, this evening could have been a very real possibility.

All I wanted was not to be lonely. I never said I wasn’t a user, but I’d like to think I gavesomethingback or Nathalie wouldn’t be so angry the nature of our relationship changed.

I’m ready to leave first, and downstairs, I wait near the elevator, pacing the floor and hoping like hell this evening goes smoothly. She meets me in the foyer, her heels delicately clicking against the marble. A frown mars her pretty face—she’s still angry I’m forcing her to do this.

“You look lovely,” I say, tugging the unmistakable blue box from Tiffany out of the pocket of my pants. I orderedthe earrings last night, hoping they would thaw her out and persuade her to cooperate.

She unties the white ribbon, and I open the lid. The dangly diamond earrings glitter against black velvet, and her eyes widen. I can see the gears turning in her head, calculating how much they cost.

I shouldn’t resent her for it, but I do.

“Thank you,” she says, taking off the earrings she was already wearing.

I gently push the posts through the holes in her earlobes. “You’re welcome. They look beautiful on you.”

She stares at herself in the hallway mirror, tilting her head, the diamonds twinkling.

I remember a different evening when Stella, Zarah, and I met Ash, his parents, and a few of my parents’ friends for dinner. Afterward, I took Stella against the wall, right here. I skim my fingers over the paint, missing her like crazy.

Because of the August heat, Nathalie doesn’t carry a wrap. In my suit, I’ll sweat all night.

Douglas is waiting in front of the building, standing next to the limo. His skin is pasty, and his eyes won’t meet mine. I must seem despicable dating Nathalie while Stella’s at the hotel healing, but itisnecessary. We have to hit home Stella’s dead, and that I don’t care that she is. Me being seen and photographed in public with Nathalie is one of those ways.

He drives us across town without saying a single word.

---