Page 80 of Cruel Hearts

I cradle her face in my hands. “I didn’t have anything to do with that. I swear to God. You have no reason to believe me, but I didn’t. I had no part in it.”

I desperately need her to believe me. No matter what I’ve done, she might one day see past it, but she will never, in this lifetime, forgive the person who killed the woman she considered her mother. The sin is too great. If she thinks I did it, there will be no redemption.

She searches my face and lightly touches the scratches on my cheek, my stubble rough under her fingertips. “I believe you.”

Out of thankfulness and gratitude, I crush my lips to hers.

She reaches for my pants, unbuckles my belt, and draws down the zipper. Greedily, she pushes past my briefs and wraps her warm hand around my cock.

I surge under her touch. “Christ, Stella.”

“Hurry up, then.”

We finish undressing, and she wriggles between the sheets. I’m right behind her, and in seconds she’s in my arms, pressing her breasts against my chest.

“I can’t wait,” she says, “but I don’t want it to be like this.”

I know what she means, and I don’t want it that way either. I want to explore, to kiss every inch of her skin. “Slow, baby. We have time,” I say, but she shakes her head and pushes me onto my back. She straddles me and her cleft cradles my cock, her arousal slicking my erection.

“Like this?” I want to be sure this is the position she wants.

“Like this. Do you remember?”

The first time we made love in her apartment. Yeah, I remember. I remember I hurt her then, too.

“We should use a condom. I didn’t last time, and I’m sorry. I don’t have anything but I could have gotten you pregnant.” I swallow, the word sticking in my throat.

She ignores the idea I could have gotten an STD from somewhere, fromsomeone, and pressing my hand to her belly, she asks, “Do you want babies, Zane?”

Sitting on top of me, her golden hair falling over her shoulders, her breasts heavy as they anticipate my touch, her skin glowing despite the dark room, there is nothing more I want on this earth than for her to carry my children.

“Not just babies, Stella. Everything that comes with them. A commitment. A marriage. A home. We’re not ready, and we won’t be for a long time.”Maybe never. I know the reality, even if she’s here right now.

I won’t put a baby inside her unless she can tell me I can have it all.

Her face doesn’t give anything away. Not disappointment, not relief. Not even love. She only reaches into my nightstand where she knows I’ve always kept my stash of condoms and tears open a foil packet.

Her fingers shake as she sheathes me, and I have to hold my breath and count to five so I don’t explode. I have never come undone by a woman’s touch the way I do with Stella’s. “Be careful. Take all the time you need.”

She lifts onto her knees and holds my cock in her hand, positioning the tip against her opening. “Will you touch me? I like it when you do.”

I wet my fingers and nudge her clit. The nub of nerves is huge, waiting for me to give her pleasure. “Do you mean like this?”

“Yeah,” she says, sighing, and she sinks onto me using excruciating care.

I grit my teeth and swirl my fingers over her clit. I want to keep her relaxed, loose, on the edge of falling over.

It feels like forever until she rolls her hips to accept the last inch of my cock, and her muscles tighten around me. I give her a chance to adjust. It costs me to stay in control, but this is her moment. All I’ve done in our relationship is take, and now I need to give. Time. Love. Family.

She’s welcome to anything I have, as long as she never leaves me again.

Slowly at first, she starts to move, testing her limits. My tip hits her center, and I clench my teeth. I want to come.

I caress one of her breasts, squeezing her nipple. She cries out, and her pussy tightens in response. I increase the pressure on her clit, and perspiration mists her skin.

“Zane,” she whimpers, and she moves my hand from between her legs and places it on her other breast.

I pinch her nipples.

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