Page 79 of Cruel Fate

“There isn’t an organization that’s specifically geared toward foster children, not here in King’s Crossing. There’s the United Way and Big Brothers Big Sisters of America,” she says, and I nod. I’ve heard of them. “We can certainly create a nonprofit, but it will be a few weeks before we can plan anything. With the holidays coming up, that’s not a bad thing. You know, February and March are so bleak. It will be nice to have something new to attend, and that will give us plenty of time to do some marketing, too. Chase can file all of our paperwork, and while we wait for a tax ID, we can do other little things like create a name and design a logo.” She sounds like she knows what she’s talking about, and on her tablet, she even begins the process by looking at the paperwork that needs to be filed with the IRS.

My head is spinning by the time the waiter serves our salads. I’m going to still be hungry after lunch, but I went along with what Mina ordered. She’s very knowledgeable, and she tells me about a few other charity events and holiday parties she’ll invite Zane and me to in the coming weeks so she can introduce me.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask, poking at a kale leaf.

“What do you mean?” She blinks her huge brown eyes.

“I mean, do you include all the assistants? Does Harper go to these things because she’s Mr. Denton’s assistant? Did Mr. Maddox’s executive assistant sit on committees, too?” I try not to sound defensive. I straddle the fence between my real life and this one, and I don’t know which side I’ll land on when I finally fall off.

“Lark, I mean, Mrs. Maddox, was a chairperson for almost every charity in the city. If you and Zane are going to be in a relationship—work-related or otherwise—you should be a part of a committee or two, as well. It’s the fastest way to get to know everyone, and you’re doing something good with your time. It’s a win-win situation for you, Stella.”

“Then I would have been invited either way.”

“Well, we don’t pull just anyone off the street,” Mina says. “You’re associated with Maddox Industries. You have connections, or at least, you will. Why not use them? But you’re right. You don’t have to be wealthy or connected to champion a cause. You don’t have to start a nonprofit for foster children with me. You can go ahead and do what you want on your own.” She tilts her head.

“What if Zane and I break up, or I lose my job?” I’m making this difficult, but I can’t stop myself.

“Ah. I see. Well, I can’t lie. You wouldn’t want to still be part of a committee then, would you? Lark and Kagan met young. They were still madly in love when they died. Whenever they were together, everyone could see it. You and Zane could have many years of happiness ahead of you. There are no guarantees.”

“That’s true.” I wanted Mina to tell me I’ll always have this life, but she can’t. I move the conversation off myself. “Is Zarah involved in charity work?”

“She and her mother worked on quite a few committees together. Isn’t she teaching you how to plan a party like Zane’s gala? She’s very efficient and good at what she does.”

I nod. “What did she work on?”

“Lark loved animals, and children who have disabilities had a place close to her heart. She and Zarah were a large part of the huge no-kill shelter that was built on the south side of the city and the learning center for autistic children that opened last year was her idea. That was a real boon for King’s Crossing. There isn’t anything else like it in the entire country. Now that Zarah’s working at Black Enterprises, she might decide to give her time to one of the foundations they’ve created. They support education, adoption, and small business. Clayton loves a good start-up, since Black Enterprises used to be one.” Mina smiles.

Her words float by me until she says that.

“Adoption?”

She sips her wine. “Chase says that foundation receives the most grant requests than any other. Adoption costs are expensive, but it doesn’t stop there. The foundation offers adoption services, too. Ash can be an ass, and Clayton Black can be just as cold as his son—where else did Ash learn it from?—but Black Enterprises does good work in the nonprofit sector. They help thousands of people a year.”

I find it interesting Black Enterprises provides adoption assistance. My opinion on adoption is messy and confusing. I waited all my life to be adopted, and I never was. I wouldn’t resent any child his or her parents, but I’ll always be sad I didn’t grow up belonging to a family who chose me.

We finish eating lunch, and Mina air kisses me again. I try not to grimace. “I’ll be in touch, and of course, see you at the party.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

I sit quietly at my desk for the rest of the day. I don’t see Zane, but I feel more secure about us since he spent the night. That insecure feeling won’t completely go away—I’ll always feel like I’m not good enough. It’s something I need to work on or I’ll start believing my own lies. I’m good enough for Zane Maddox. I’m good enough for anybody.

Frowning apologetically, Harper dumps a pile of folders in the inbox sitting on my desk right before I leave. “I know you’re heading out to meet Zarah, but I wanted you to have these now. I need you to work on them first thing in the morning. You’re so quick, I don’t mind telling you I need them done by five.”

I get my back up and I’m ready to accuse her of spying on me, but I deflate before I embarrass myself. She looked at my calendar. I blocked off my meeting because I wanted everyone in the office to know I had a legitimate excuse to leave early.

I’m starting to feel paranoid, and I berate myself. No one is out to get me. “Thanks. It won’t be a problem and I don’t mind. I feel like I’m not pulling my weight.”

“You’re doing great. Things will go back to normal.” Her face falls. “About as normal as things can get without Kagan and Lark around. I mean, after the party, hopefully things will...” She fades off and bites her lip. “Zane’s working hard. Richard and Larry are impressed with the work he’s put in since he’s come back. Once Zane decided to jump in, he didn’t waste time. Have fun at the Lyndhurst. It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

A sleek black town car is parked near the sidewalk outside the building, and the driver stands near the back door, his hand resting on the handle. Trotting down the stairs, I ignore him, mentally running through the bus route. It’s a long one. “Miss Mayfair,” he says loudly, interrupting my thoughts, “Miss Maddox asked me to drive you to the Lyndhurst.”

Feeling horrible, I skid to a stop. I’ve been crabby with Zarah all day for expecting me to ride across the city on the bus. I’m just as bad as the rich snobs in King’s Crossing.

No, worse.

I’ve prided myself on being friendly, kind, and humble. Maryanne taught me that no matter how bad you have it, someone else always has it worse, and I use that to remind myself to be grateful for the small blessings in my life. Now I’ve turned the snobbery to those around me because I think I’m better than they are for the way I had to grow up. It’s obviously not true, and Zarah proved it the night she shoved a hundred dollar bill into my pocket to reimburse me for the meals I didn’t have to pay for.

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