Page 106 of Burned & Bound

Again, I just nodded. I didn’t have it in me to say anything more. I waited until the lights on Mickey’s truck were gone and down the road before I moved. I didn’t give a fuck what Mickey said. I wasn’t leaving West out there alone. Grabbing a pillow for me and a blanket for West, I stormed right back outside. Fuck everything else.

Chancing more chaos, I gently spread the blanket over West. He flinched and curled into himself further but that was it.Knowing full well I’d need to be peeled off the fucking ground in the morning, I settled down next to him—close enough to be there if he needed me, far enough not to invade his space.

And somewhere in the middle of the night, his fingers found their way across that distance and found their home over my pulse.

CHAPTER 74

west

Nine horses.

Nine hay bales.

Nine cows.

Nine buckets.

Nine fence posts.

Nine.

Nine.

Fucking nine.

The list of nines went on and fucking on. I kept seeing the number nine everywhere. It fucking taunted me—a constant reminder of things I didn’t want to think about.

Things that wouldn’t leave the forefront of my mind.

This place had fucking broken me. There was no other explanation for it. I was falling apart in every goddamn way possible.

Waking up disoriented and damn near naked on Jackson’s lawn with him sleeping next to me felt like a last straw. I couldn’t remembera fucking thing about how I ended up there. Jackson’s split lip and black eye gave me a pretty good idea about what the fuck I’d done—of how I’d hurt him.

For days, I avoided Jackson or maybe he avoided me. I saw him once or twice when he picked up and dropped off Zeus on schedule. No words were exchanged. I could barely make eye contact let alone handle a fucking conversation. I didn’t go back to his house at night. Instead, I drank until I passed out in the stable.

I was good though. I watched my drinking enough to make sure I could fucking handle the horses without incident.Just enough to chase away the demons.Hiding away in the stables didn’t help, but it was all I had. Truthfully, there wasn’t a damn thing that would help anymore. Not while Double Arrow had its claws in me.

I tipped back the flask, letting the burn of whiskey help soothe the guilt and silence the screaming. Both were particularly loud after an anxious day. I was restless, exhausted, and crawling out of my skin.

Another drink, another hope for relief.

Another disappointment.

Betty’s head popped over the edge of her stall, and I staggered down the aisle to visit with her. Horses were good fucking company. No judgment. No harsh words. No hits.

Just fucking silence and comfort.

I leaned on her stall door, taking another long drink.

“You don’t hate me, do you, pretty girl?” I asked Betty, running a hand down her soft snout. She merely chuffed, and I pulled her closer, pressing my forehead to hers. “Yeah, well… that makes one of us.”

I managed to make it a whole damn week before Jackson quit. Turned out, he was letting me avoid him. Thankfully, I was just sober enough when he strode into my stables with an unreadable look on his face.

Thatmade my fucking heart rate spike. I hated not knowing what he was thinking. It set me on edge, and I stood a little taller. At this point, it was a survival instinct to be ready for whatever the hell came my way.

“So, how long are you planning on avoiding me?” Jackson asked.

Fuck, I didn’t want to answer that question.

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