Page 57 of Burned & Bound

“Okay,” he muttered. He didn’t fight me as I sat him down on the couch. Nor did he fight me as I grabbed the nearest blanket and covered him with it. I’d read that people with anxiety found blankets comforting and relaxing. I didn’t have a clue if that was true for him, but it couldn’t hurt to try.Fuck, I’d try anything at this point if it’d bring him a few moments of comfort or peace.

“Reality TV is my guilty pleasure,” I admitted, telling him something I didn’t fucking tell anyone. That was shit I didn’t need getting out. While he wrapped himself up in the blanket, I sat next to him and propped my feet up on the L of the couch. “I like watching other peopledo stupid shit.”

He made a quiet sound but said nothing as I turned on the TV. I mindlessly scrolled through my options until I settled on a stupid mass dating show. It was always messy and ridiculous, but I found it entertaining nonetheless. And hopefully, it’d distract West long enough to let him relax.

My tired brain zoned out on the screen, barely catching a word said. I was determined to stay up with him, but fuck, it was hard. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Somewhere in the middle of it all, a slight bump and pressure on my shoulder made me freeze. I glanced down to see West had fallen asleep.Good.Minding my movements, I lowered his head into my lap and waited with the expectation that it’d wake him up. It didn’t.

Pressing my luck, I brushed his hair away from his forehead. Instead of pulling away or waking up, he sighed—the sound quiet and content. I adjusted the blanket around his shoulders and just stared at him as I ran my fingers through his hair for comfort.His or mine, I didn’t know.It was just oddly nice sitting there with his head in my lap. He looked peaceful. More peaceful than he had in a long time.

I whistled just loud enough for Tess to hear me from upstairs. She bounded down the stairs, tail wagging with excitement. I shook my head.Some guard dog.Good thing no one had actually tried to break in. Coming around the side of the couch, she sat.

“Gentle,” I ordered in a hush. Her ears perked up as she waited patiently. I pointed to the far end of the couch and said, “Up.”

She hopped up on the far end, nearly landing on West’s feet.

“Crawl,” I told her. Laying down, she inched across the couch, lining up along West’s chest. She nudged her way under his arm. He shifted slightly, his body curling around hers and his fingers burying in her fur as he held her closer. I whispered, “Good girl.”

With my fingers brushing through West’s hair, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the couch. Was it the most comfortable way to sleep? No. But honestly? It was nice.

CHAPTER 41

west

Iwas so farinside my head that I quit working. I couldn’t fucking focus on anything and damn near screwed up everything I touched. Instead, I sat on the far side of the horse corral and just watched the horses do their thing.All the while, I thought about Jackson.

I could barely remember a fucking thing about panic cleaning the kitchen. Finding the rooms painted had triggered another stupid episode. I didn’t know how to handle Jackson’s kindness—his attempts to take care of me. No one had ever done shit like that for me.

And what did he get out of it?What was I supposed to give him in return? That question fucked with my head. I didn’t have a damn thing I could offer him.

It almost fucked with me as much as when I woke up with my head in Jackson’s lap. His hand had rested around my shoulder as he slept, and it felt almost nice. Almost nice enough for me to close my eyes and pretend to sleep some fucking more. But I couldn’t—not with the weird buzzing coursing through my body.

Hell, I had pretended to sleep, even when he woke up. Instead of moving me, he just sat there with his fingers running through my hair.It was almost nice.It set my nerves on fire but it was almost nice. No one has even touched me like that.

And at the end of it all, Jackson got up and left for work as if nothing had happened between us.Which was for the better because I didn’t know what the hell to say or do.Fuck, I didn’t know what to make of it all.

It left me confused and anxious. I didn’t know how to act around Jackson, so I avoided him.That was what I did best: run away from my problems.I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. What did normal people do when they woke up cuddling their former best friend turned boss turned whatever weird fucking thing we were now?

The sight of Jackson walking across the corral pulled me from my thoughts.Fuck.If I was being honest with myself, Jackson was attractive—not that I’d tell him that. The problem was I didn’t know if I was attracted to him.Honestly, I didn’t know what it felt like to be attracted to anyone.The whole concept was foreign to me. While I’d tried many times to force the experience—to prove I could be like everyone else—it never happened. I never felt a fucking thing.

But with Jackson?

Things with Jackson were different lately. There was something. I didn’t have a fucking clue what that thing was but there was something. Was this what it was like to be attracted to someone? To Jackson? Fuck, I’d been attracted to him when we were young but that was so goddamn long ago. I couldn’t remember what that felt like.

He stopped in front of me, hands bracketing his hips. I just stared at him—maybe I glared at him. I didn’t have a fucking clue. I wasn’t in control of my face at this point.

“You want to talk about it?” Jackson asked quietly.Fuck.I should’ve known this shit was coming. He always wanted to talk.

“No.”

“Okay,” he relented real damn fast.Thank fuck.I couldn’t handle more of his pushing and prodding today. “Can I sit with you?”

“It’s your fucking fence,” I snapped. His nostrils flared as he took in a deep breath, clearly holding his composure. I immediately felt bad. Hedidn’t deserve my anger. I scooted slightly on the rail to make room for him and whispered, “Yeah.”

He climbed up on the fence next to me. I waited for him to start talking like he always did, but he kept the silence and just sat there watching horses with me.

The violent clap of thunder overhead came out of nowhere as did the heavy downpour that followed. The horses panicked, and we were left scrambling to collect them. It was a fucking mess of a situation with horses scattering, Jackson swearing, and me trying not to get trampled.

By the time the horses were sorted out in their stables, Jackson and I were both soaked and out of breath. I ran a hand through my wet hair as I stared out the open barn doors. Jackson settled on the other side, leaning against the frame with a scowl on his face.

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