Page 35 of Such A Filthy Girl

I needed air.

Breaking from the group, I slipped through the crush, heading for my room.

Why had I said yes?

Graham deserved better. I’d slept with my step-brother the night before, yet had accepted his proposal.

What a fucking bitch.

I’d convinced myself that Graham had driven me into Leo’s arms with the lack of passion, but no justification excused what I’d done.

Turning Graham down publicly would have humiliated him, but in good conscience I couldn’t marry him. Could I?

Could I sweep my illicit affair with Leo behind me and go back to my life?

Fighting my inner turmoil, to smile sweetly and accept peoples hugs, had me wanting the scrape my skin from my flesh.

I made it to the bottom of the staircase as cheers rose from behind me. My vision blurred with each step, stumbling as I hit the landing.

‘Estella,’ Leo pleaded, his fingers gasping mine and pulling me to a halt. ‘Stop.’

Rounding on him, the tears fell, my emotions bubbling over.

‘It’s your fault. I was happy before I came home. I should never have stepped foot back in this fucking house.’

Leo pushed against me, pinning me to the wall with his hips, searching my face. ‘You don’t mean that.’

‘I do. I mean every word. You are trying to ruin my life.’

The need to lash out hit me, and seeing the pain in Leo’s face only made my tears fall faster.

The sound of the New Year countdown rang up from below.

Ten.

Leo slipped his hand over my tear stained jaw, tipping my face to his.

Nine.

My lips parted at the sweet touch, so much softer than I’d been prepared for.

Eight.

‘Be with me,’ Leo whispered, his thumb grazing the spot beside my ear.

Seven.

‘I can’t. Not here.’

Six.

‘I love you, Estella.’ He licked his lips, and my resolve wavered.

Five.

‘You obsess over me, you don’t know how to love me.’

Four.