Page 94 of Misguided Vows

“This might be a moment for you, a chivalrous responsibility you’re feeling, but this ismylife.Myresponsibility. When you decide to come and go,Iwill be raising this child.”

“It’s not just you!”

“How is it not? How can you expect me to believe that you can go from ‘we’re just having a fling’ to ‘I want to put a ring on your finger and raise this child together’?”

“I ran into a burning building for you! I don’t know how else I can show you other than with actions as to how much I love you! I was in so much fucking fear that day that I thought I’d lose you!” More tears well in my eyes at his confession.

“I’ve tried so hard to keep you away because I thought it was best for you, but I’m too fucking selfish for that.” He takes a step forward. “I can’t… I just can’t imagine you in a world that doesn’t allow me in it. Yes, you started off as a job. But, Alina, you turned into a beacon I didn’t even realize I needed.” He’s a mess as he reaches for my hand. “Please, Alina. I will prove to you that I can be a better man. I will do anything that you ask of me.”

“And if I ask you to leave me alone?” I squeak out because this is ridiculous. It brings me too much pain and turmoil. It hurts and splits me in two, and I can’t handle the hold he has over me.

“I can’t do that,” he admits as he takes another step and encroaches further into my space. “I won’t let any other man have you. Steven’s lucky I didn’t fucking shoot him. I can’t do this without you, Alina. I’m fucking miserable.”

Tears stream down my cheeks as I look into his blue eyes that are also leaking tears, and I think this isn’t only me he’s mourning but perhaps what he’s forced to relinquish as he makes this confession. The wife of his past and the future with me he’s imagining for himself now.

“I fucking hate you so much,” I confess through a shaky breath. He should’ve stayed away and made it easier for the both of us. But I’m so tired of fighting him. Of fighting this connection.

“I know, love.” He dips his forehead to mine. “But I will find you no matter what part of the world you’re in. I just can’t stay away from you. Please let me stay,” he says quietly, and the vulnerability breaks me in two.

“It’s so complicated, Will. You can’t just decide to be with me because I’m pregnant. It’s not fair to either of us.”

He laughs, and it dispels the heaviness of the situation as I look up at him through wet lashes, surprised and uncertain. “If anything, it was the catalyst for me to get my sorry ass moving sooner. I want this with you, Alina, more than I’ve wanted anything else. I want to move forward with you. So I’d call it a blessing.”

I’m shocked, and the honest words slip from my mouth. “I’m scared. I’ve never done this before.”

He lets out a nervous breath, and his hand comes to rest on my cheek. “Neither have I, love. But with how much I filled you with my cum, I can’t say I’m all that surprised. And maybe I was a selfish prick for hoping it’d happen.”

I’m a mix of fury and disbelief. Don’t get me wrong, I understand we both got off on it, but I never actually thought it’d eventuate to this… Before I can feel any other type of way he confesses.

“I’m not a good man, but I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

I sigh with exhaustion and a spark of hope.

But there’s also the need to preserve myself, to want to shield myself from this vulnerability since I’d already been hurt by it before. The thought of hope and fear mix, trying to outweigh one another.

“This is wild, Will.” I try to envision what we might look like in the future.

“This is us, Alina. Wild, explosive, and hopefully a lot of hate fucking.”

I laugh at that, hating that he can make me laugh even under the circumstances. He wraps his arms around my waist, his gaze never leaving mine.

“When I tell you I love you, Alina, I mean it. I’ve been fixated on you from the moment I met you. No games, no ulterior motive. I just want us to move forward together.”

“What if you hate me for it?” I ask quietly. “What if you feel like you’re being trapped into this? Or you can’t let go of the past, or I don’t compare. Or…”

“You are your own experience and love, Alina. You’re not to be compared, and you trapped me inevitably the moment you first called me an asshole, and I tasted you for the first time on that flight.”

My heart is pounding because it all feels too real, too magical. It’s a gamble and a bet but with the highest stake–my heart.

“Here I thought I dodged a bullet with you,” I say, with the realization as to why I care so much about him hitting me at that moment. Because as much as we denied this thing between us, I’ve learned so much about myself with Will, and I wasn’t willing to admit that when I was in that fire. Besides my mother, he is the person I thought of most. And when he broke through those flames, I knew then, without a doubt, that I loved him. But I was always too scared to admit it. Because it was easier to push him away than risk the chances of my heart being broken.

He sighs, almost sounding defeated. “You and me both, love.”

“I love you, Will, but I still hate you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, milady,” he says before kissing me. It feels like the first breath I’ve taken since leavingNew York. Like the piece I was missing has finally returned to me. And I realize now why it’d been so hard for me to settle on a location for my office. It was never about the place but the person I wanted to call home.

CHAPTER 54

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