Page 92 of Misguided Vows

But that has nothing to do with the head fuckery I experience with Will. I respected his wishes and his deceased wife, and yet he feels like he can just come storming into my life whenever hepleases. For what? A quick shag? Whatever his definition of a relationship is?

“Alina, I want you to know that I like you,” Steven states, and it’s so abrupt that I’m pulled out of my spiraling thoughts. “And while I don’t like Will, I am willing to help you through this phase.”

Phase? What the fuck does that even mean?

I sit, confused, and wait for him to clarify his statement. Surely, I didn’t hear him right. But when he speaks, I wish he didn’t.

“Will is bad news. Not only does he deal with criminals, he himself is one. And I believe you know better than to associate with those kinds of people, considering you’re trying to build up your business. How would your customers feel knowing you’re associated with men like him? Would they feel comfortable with that? All I’m saying is, I would cut all ties as fast as possible before you get in any deeper.”

I’m sure he thinks what he’s saying is helpful. But the way he says it, and the way he speaks of Will, is low, even for him. I sit back and say nothing while he calls the waitress over and orders us each a glass of red wine. I stare at the untouched glasses of water, realizing that ordinarily, Will would’ve ordered us a bottle of champagne or wine. But this time, he ordered water.

I still at the thought with the dreaded realization that I think he knows.

On top of that, I’m not feeling overly friendly toward Steven for condemning “people like Will.” He’s not wrong and is entitled to his opinion, but I have friends who are associated with the criminal world, and they have been the closest thing to sisters I’ve found in a long time. They’ve uplifted me and supported me, offering me further opportunities. Maria, Honey, and Rya. Would Steven look down on them the moment he realizes they’re a bit morally gray?

Most likely. And in my heart of hearts, I know I’m not entirely a good person either. I steal things for a kick. And where Will found it entertaining, I realize this man—an average man—would not look upon that fondly.

We’re just too mismatched, even if I do think a man like Steven is better for me.

I hardly speak through the meal, and to be honest, I don’t even know if he notices. Or cares. He talks about himself a lot. And besides a few words of encouragement on my end, my head’s spinning, and I feel like my decisions are crowding in on me.

It’s as easy as that for Will to simply walk back into my life and cause an avalanche and ripple effect. Because again he’s all I can think about, and I hate this power he has over me. I don’t understand it or the intense pull I have to follow after him. And I hate that.

When Steven asks for the bill, the waitress informs him it was paid for. By Will. This makes Steven’s face go red as he stands.

I silently follow him out as he begins bad-mouthing Will again and tries to flag us down a cab. I remain near the entrance until he finally looks back at me as if actually seeing the real me for the first time. I realize, as sweet and attentive as I thought he was this last week, he’s not looking atmebut simply someone who can fill the fantasy of what he has for a partner or wife.

“Thank you for everything, Steven, but I don’t think this is going to work,” I tell him. “I like you as a friend. But I don’t think it will go any further,” I say honestly. At first, he stands there, confused, then he steps up to me.

“Look, I know I can come on strong sometimes, but it will work, I’m sure of it,” he says matter-of-factly. “We both love the same things, and it could be so easy for us.” It goes without saying that I’ve never done anything easy in my life. “We just need you to remove yourself from him. He’s toxic.” Stevenshakes his head, still fuming about Will. And I get it. Will has a certain knack for pissing people off.

Maybe some of my confusion has to do with Will, but I’m confident I know what I want for myself. Well, at least I know it doesn’t involve Steven.

“It’s not Will, Steven. I just don’t see you that way.” Before I can tell him anything else, he kisses me. I freeze at how quickly it happens.

I didn’t ask him to kiss me, and I don’t want his kiss. I shove him back, and when he realizes I’m not smiling, his smile drops, and his brows pinch together.

“Really? Nothing?”

“Nothing. And the only reason I’m not kicking you in the balls right now is because I know you thought that was a good move to make. It wasn’t. Don’t ever do that to a woman again.” I wipe at my lips, feeling disgusted, not having the heart to tell him that his breath still smells.

“I’m going to catch my own cab,” I say. “Thank you for everything, but I think we’re done here.” I walk away, holding my jacket tightly.

“He won’t ever love you. You know it’s a waste of time, right?” Steven shouts out behind me. I say nothing back. I didn’t mention Will, he did. So, I’m not playing into that game at all.

When I round the corner, I throw my hands in the air, furious. “For fuck’s sake.”

“I bet he tasted foul,” Will says, leaning against the wall, watching me. “Would you like me to change the taste in your mouth?”

I ignore him and continue walking. He kicks off the wall and follows behind me. “Your apartment is the other way,” he says, and I hate that he knows that. He knows everything about me, and yet I still can’t figure out what that brilliant mind of his is thinking. I gave up on trying to figure it out weeks ago.

“You can’t just hack my emails,” I yell, knowing he can hear me. He’s smart enough to at least keep some distance between us as I weave through people.

“Yes, well I wanted to spend quality time with you, is that a crime?” he says behind me.

“It is. Move on like you were supposed to. Stop dragging this out,” I furiously say without turning to look over my shoulder at him.

“I’d like to drag something, but not you, maybethroughyou…” I gasp in shock, and come to a stop to face him, embarrassed if others heard. He seems smug with himself as if knowing that would get me to stop hastily walking and get me to bite.

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