Page 32 of Willow

By the time my run is over, I feel energized, like I could conquer the world. I’m happy and I make myself a promise to do this every day while I’m home.

Driving home with the windows down and my music streaming through the amazing sound system, I feel at peace for the first time in a very long time.

* * *

CALEB

After the weekend I had with Willow,I canceled every damn appointment I had scheduled for today. I was too distracted to go into the office, so I decided to work from home. Much to the dismay of Grace who must be frantically trying to reschedule all of them. I feel terrible for creating all this extra work for her on a busy Monday, but I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate. Willow’s been on my mind since I dropped her off at home last night.

I’m obsessed with that girl. She’s on my mind every waking moment, and she haunts me in my dreams. More so now that I have the taste of her on my tongue and I’ve been inside her tight body. Willow’s so responsive to my touch and eager for more. My cock gets hard just thinking about her breathy moans and screams of pleasure.

This right here is the reason I couldn’t go into the office. Walking around with a hard-on is not appropriate behavior, whether I’m at home or in the office. Fuck, I can’t even concentrate being at home. I need to cool the fuck down and I know the perfect distraction.

Walking out of my office, I head upstairs to change. Cadence is napping so I’ll have the pool all to myself. If she happens to wake up I’ll gladly take her in with me if she’s up to it.

After slipping into my board shorts, I head downstairs and get as far as the kitchen when Anna stops me.

“Caleb, do you have a minute?” Even if I didn’t, I would make time if she wanted to discuss Cadence.

“Of course. What’s on your mind?” I didn’t expect what pours out of her mouth.

“Allie’s been working really hard trying to get her life back together.” I hold up my hand, fuming. I shut her down the second that name slips past her lips.

“Anna, I know she’s your daughter and since I have one of my own, I won’t voice my opinion. With that said, Allie made her choice when she walked out that door.” I use my finger to emphasize my point. Allie had everything, and she chose to take the easy road out. Now I won’t give her the chance to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out ever again.

“I understand, Caleb. She hurt you…” In two short strides, we’re face-to-face.

“She didn’t hurt me because I didn’t give a fuck whether she was here or not. What did hurt me was the fact that she walked out on her own flesh and blood. We’re responsible for that child having Cystic Fibrosis, and Allie couldn’t handle the truth.” I stop to count backwards since I’m furious that I have to revisit the past.

With tears in her eyes, she nods. Her daughter fucked up and Anna should count her lucky stars that I allow her to take care of her granddaughter. “You’re right. I’m sorry I bothered you when I clearly know how you’ve felt from the start. I’ll never bring it up again.” She doesn’t move so I turn on my heels and get the hell out. Now I need a swim just to cool the fuck off.

Diving in, I stretch my body to its full length and kick. When I reach the surface, I elongate my arms, cup my hands, and glide along the surface. Taking breaths as needed. When I reach the other side, I go under, kick off the side, and begin again. If I were swimming for exercise, I’d be counting my laps. Not this time. Today’s swim is to release all the tension and anxiety that’s been building up over time. The conversation with Anna just compounded the problem. Now I might be in here for hours, that’s how pissed I am.

I’ve no idea how much time passes. If I had to take a guess it would be an hour since my muscles feel like rubber and my legs are cramping. I could keep pushing myself, but it wouldn’t do me a damn bit of good. My time is better spent with Cadence. She’s the only person I want to be around right now.

Climbing out of the pool, I grab a clean towel in the cabinet and sit on the lounger just to catch my breath. I haven’t pushed myself like that in years. What was supposed to be a casual swim to blow off some tension turned into the race of my life. Well, that’s what it felt like anyway. Like I’m running away from something. I think I know what it is. The thought of Allie trying to connect with her daughter. I have this fear that strangles my heart in the middle of the night. That Cadence will hate me when she turns eighteen, when she realizes I’m the reason she didn’t have a relationship with her mother.

That thought just guts me. Am I wrong? Should I let Allie come for a visit? I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so torn. Maybe I’m letting my feelings, or lack thereof, make the decisions for me. Is it possible to have more anxiety now than when I dove into the pool? I believe it’s possible.

There’s only one person who can ease my tension and that’s my sweet girl. I seek her unconditional love and pray that when she gets older she’ll realize I made these choices because I thought they were best. Children are our most precious possession and the only thing that doesn’t come with a set of instructions. As a parent, we do the best we can and hope for the best.

20

WILLOW

Every minuteofevery day I’m consumed with thoughts of Caleb. What’s he doing? Where is he? At home or in his office? I know he mentioned over the weekend that he works from home from time to time. Fewer distractions. That’s understandable since I’ve been to his office and there’s always a ton going on. There’s an art department, an A&R department, marketing, you name it he’s got it.

Who am I fooling? Of course I’m thinking about random things when I really want to focus on how great sex was with him. Now that’s all-consuming. Caleb’s passionate and attentive, and he makes me feel special. Like I’m the only woman in the world and he only has eyes for me. It’s flattering and exactly what I need right now.

To be someone’s everything. I sound like one of those sappy romance novels, right? Funny, since I’m the one who doesn’t believe in something that’s not real.

I’ve just come back from my run and now I’m going crazy. Sitting by my phone waiting for him to text or call. That’s not acceptable and it’s not healthy. I need to get out of this room and out of this house, even if it means I go by myself.

Grabbing my phone, I jump when I’m startled with an incoming text.

Caleb:I miss you, love.

That short but sweet text just made my day.

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