Page 16 of Jet

“Suit yourself. I never refuse good help. You know you’re spoiling me for all the idiots who will come after you.” When he stands in front of me, he grabs my nape and says, “They say blood is thicker than water, but I call bullshit. You ain’t my blood but you’re my son, boy. Never forget it.” Letting go, he turns and walks out the door.

It takes everything I am to hold back my emotions that are swirling around like a storm inside of me. This is the first time he’s ever called me his son and it overrides all the fake “I love you’s” that have been force-fed to me over the years.

What a heavy discussion this has been first thing in the morning. Now I need to get my ass up and prove to the man that I’m worthy of that title.

There’s something I find therapeutic about taking dirty dishes from the dining room, loading them up in the industrial dishwasher, and restocking them in neat stacks. If only my life could be run through that dishwasher and come out clean.

The day flies by and I decide to go back to my place once my shift is over. I can’t hide in my old room forever, and just knowing that it’s still there after all these years is comforting.

I’m hot, sweaty, and in desperate need of a shower. Kicking off my shoes, I start stripping the second I walk through the door. Tearing off my damp shirt, I send it flying across the living room. Next come my pants as I trip and stumble while hopping on one leg. It would have been so much easier if I had sat down to pull them off, but my mind is focused on the cool water sluicing down my overheated skin.

Turning on the water, I set it on the coldest setting and pull the knob before stepping in. The rush of cold hitting my chest causes me to suck in a breath. I’m gasping for air as I duck my head under the showerhead. It’s ten times worse than the brain freeze you get when eating ice cream too fast. With a pounding heart, and clenched fists, I stay there for as long as I can stand it before adding the hot water to the mix. Trembling takes over and I hold on to the wall in front of me for support.

Once my body adjusts to the temperature, I grab my body wash and shower off all the sweat and grime of the last few days. Never taking for granted what it feels like to go weeks without bathing when I lived on the streets. It’s a feeling I’ll never forget, as long as I live.

After closing the water, I towel dry and throw on an old beat-up concert Tee and a pair of track shorts. There’s no closet full of suits, fancy clothes, and expensive footwear in this apartment. Clean clothes are all I need to feel grounded.

Grabbing my guitar, notebook, and pen, I sit down to put my thoughts to paper. Being vulnerable and raw is the best time for me to write some more music. Lucas would like our second album to be a collaboration of songs by all of us, so no time like the present.

I lived my life as if I’m silent

Buried in the darkness of my soul

Like a child without a voice

Screaming on deaf ears

Why isn’t anyone listening?

Can’t you hear my cries?

Or do you look away

My pain too much to bear

* * *

QUINN

“Jet gets upset whenever we mention your name.”

I’m not sure whythis sentence has stripped me of all resolve, but it sure as hell did. It’s devastating to know that he feels this way when all I’ve tried to do is be his friend. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it does. Why the hell do I care if one arrogant musician doesn’t like me? I’ve worked with hundreds of them over the years.

Unfortunately, this knowledge sets the tone for the rest of the tour. It won’t be easy pretending like I don’t know about this revelation, making our working relationship unbearable. After helping Jet with the nuts and bolts of the charity concert, I really hoped he’d realize I was on his side. That we were both working together for a grand venture and a wonderful cause.

I could tell the minute Willow spilled the beans she regretted it, but it was too late to take back. She tried covering for him by mentioning he’d had a bad childhood. Nothing I haven’t heard before, but I’m beginning to think excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one.

Besides, I’ve known a lot of people who have had a hard life but they don’t act like idiots like he does. Ugh, it’s so damn frustrating just knowing in a few days we’re going to be stuffed together like a bunch of sardines again. I don’t have a choice and I’m not a quitter, so I’ll finish what I started. When it’s time to walk away, I will. No looking back.

When my phone rings, I’m tempted to ignore it. I’m in no mood to talk to anyone, until I notice it’s Caleb’s number. With trembling hands, I swipe. “Hi Caleb, I’d like to apologize for calling you yesterday.”

“Well, I apologize for hanging up on you, so now we’re even. Look, I’m not going to pull any punches. I have good news and bad news. What would you like first?”

Is he kidding me? “Give me the bad news first. Save the best for last.”

“I just knew you’d want the worst first. Okay, so the whole idea of a huge benefit concert is out of the question. The backers want a new album as soon as possible to keep the momentum going. You know the deal, that leads to another tour and the circle is complete. That’s the bad news, but the good news is ifThe Sinful Sevenagree to do one more month on the road, all the proceeds will go to the homeless, in the city they’re performing in. And the backers will find the bands to perform in each city. Which takes some of the pressure off of you and the band. You can all concentrate on the venue and the concert. Is this satisfactory?”

“If it were just me, I’d say go for it, but I really need to run it by the band. It’s a great plan, but it’s not exactly Jet’s vision. Give me until the end of the day and I’ll give you their answer. Thanks for everything, Caleb. It’s more than I expected, really.”

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