Page 37 of Lucas

“Shh,” he presses his fingers to my trembling lips. “All I ask is that you give it some serious thought. You don’t need to give me your answer right away, but it would be nice to know before I leave. Now, should we go to that damn party or should I fuck you senseless?”

Envy

“There is but one man who can believe himself free fromEnvy;

and it is he who has never examined his own heart.”

Claude Adrien Helvetius

26

Lucas

Abbyand I went to the party last night. She was quick to point out that as much as she wanted me to fuck her, we could do that after the party. And that’s exactly what we did. Until the wee hours of the morning. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that this woman’s my soulmate. Yeah I went there, since it’s nice waking up to a warm body wrapped around me, especially when that body belongs to Abby. Damn if I couldn’t get used to this. I’m hoping she feels the same.

Leaning with my head in my palm, I just watch her sleep. She’s a dark-haired beauty with high cheekbones who hides behind baggy clothes and minimal makeup. Not that she needs any since she’s a natural. A goddess. And she has no fucking clue. I’m hoping that as time goes on, she opens up about the reason why she doesn’t wear the slutty stuff all the girls wear. Not that it matters since she’s perfect just the way she is.

“It’s kinda creepy with you staring at me, Lucas. Just saying.” I can’t help but laugh as I pull her in. Busted.

“I’m learning to appreciate the beauty that surrounds me, and today that’s you.” She shudders when I kiss her crown and hold her tight. “Fuck! I never asked what time you need to be at work!”

Peeking up through her thick lashes, she murmurs, “I’m off for two days, and at the end of the month I’ll be jobless.”

I swipe the tears she doesn’t realize are falling. Jobless? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? “Are you quitting the shop, Abby? I mean that’s great if you have another job, but you really…”

“Adam’s selling Java Joe’s, and the new owners take over at the start of next month. I’ve been applying online to other places, but they don’t pay for shit. I have no idea what I’m going to do and how I’m going to pay my bills. I’m so damn angry and yet my parents don’t think he did anything wrong. They defend him, saying things like ‘That’s his job, Abby’. Yeah, I get it, but he could have told his employees that it was coming.”

I suddenly get an idea, one of the best ideas I’ve ever had. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier, but you can work for the band! Oh my god, baby, you can go on the road with us and I can see you every day. It’s perfect, really. You need a job and we need a business agent. Say yes, Abby!”

That brow scrunches up one more time, and when she looks at me like I’m crazy, I start believing I am. “Ah, too soon in the relationship, ya think?”

“No, that’s not it. I truly appreciate the offer, but I can’t accept it. You need someone with experience and it’s not me. Yes, I have a degree, but I’ve never worked in the field and wouldn’t know where to begin.” My beautiful girl has no confidence at all.

“We need someone to crunch the numbers, baby. You told me that’s part of your job at the shop, so you got this. Beside, I’m sure you’d love Quinn, she’s our booking agent, and I bet she’d love to have another girl around. It would balance things out perfectly. Three guys and three girls.” Something lurks beneath her skin. It’s written all over her face. I’ve often wondered why she never perused a career in her field, but clearly she’s afraid for whatever reason. “What are you so afraid of, Abby?”

“All my life, they’ve bullied me. Not skinny enough or pretty enough or whatever. I never fit in, and I don’t have the confidence to be in charge of something so huge.”

“Bullies are people with no self-esteem. They hate themselves, so they take it out on the ones who have everything they don’t. They feed off your fear and low self-esteem. I’m sorry they did that to you, but what you don’t realize is how strong, independent, and perfect you are. Why do you think I’m drawn to you? Well, your gorgeous body might be what attracted me at first, but after all the orgasms were over, it was your positive attitude and smarts that kept me coming back for more. Did you ever stop to think all those bullies might have done you a solid?” Her snort stops me in my tracks.

“Lucas, are you being serious right now? I’m a weak woman who chased after my crush. I used my body as a weapon, since I thought that was the only way I could connect with you. I appreciate you trying to build me up and put me on that pedestal, but I’m not as strong as you’d like to believe. I’m falling apart at the thought of not having a secure job and losing everything I worked for.”

“I won’t let you lose anything, Abby. Not on my watch. Come to the studio with us on Monday, meet Quinn, and get a feel for the entire process. Hell, we’ll all be learning together since I have no idea how everything is going to play out. I want you there and I know you’d be a significant addition to the team. Say yes, baby.”

“What if I fall flat on my face?”

I roll on top of her, pressing in between her thighs. Her gaze is hungry and I sure could eat right now, but I want to drive my point home before I lose all train of thought. “What if you don’t? What if this is your element and you’re great at it? Give it a go. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

“Okay. I’ll go with you on Monday and see what happens, but I’m not making any promises.” I seal the deal with a toe-curling kiss, but she has no idea she just sold her soul to the devil.

***

Abby

Lucas hadsome errands to run after giving me several explosive orgasms. I haven’t been able to stop smiling since he left, and truth be told my jaw is sore. So worth it. For the first time in a long time, I’m happy. Job or not, Lucas is all in and that’s enough for me to get through all the other bullshit.

After showering, I scrutinize my body in the floor-length mirror that I normally avoid at all costs. All I can see is thick thighs and cellulite staring back at me, and if it weren’t for all the dirty words Lucas whispered in my ear last night, I’d be in tears. Obviously, he sees me in a very different light than I see myself. But it gives me a bit of hope that maybe someday I’ll see myself through his eyes and everything will be fine.

Throwing on a pair of comfy yoga pants and an old concert tee, I grab my phone. Guilt slices me to my core when I see several missed messages from Joel. He truly is a great guy, and I had no right leading him on the way I did. He deserves a girl who looks at him the same way I look at Lucas. Like he can walk on water. I’m reluctantly about to call him back when the doorbell rings. Saved by the bell.

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