I tickle his ribs. “I’m sure it does.”
One smoldering kiss later, he continues. “What are we going to do after you leave tomorrow? I’m not giving up on us. This isn’t a fling for me.”
I rest my cheek on his chest and let out a long sigh.
He massages my back with firm, relaxing strokes. “What are you afraid of? Talk to me.”
“Pretty much everything.”
“I need a little more than that, beautiful.”
“If we’re going to have this discussion now, let’s sit first,” I suggest.
I slide off him and onto my knees next to the couch, then stand. He sits up and twirls on his butt until he’s facing forward. Once he’s comfortable, I turn to sit next to him, but he pulls me onto his lap. Of course, I’m hesitant because of my weight, but I know he likes it.
“That’s better.” He pulls me in for a gentle kiss. I love how he spoils me with affection. I rest my forehead against his and breathe in his soft scent. “Now, what are you worried about? Tell me…specifically. Let’s get it out in the open and see what we can do.”
Always Mr. Positive. I wish I could be like that. “I love the way I feel here. Happy, relaxed, and mentally stronger. I’ve been more outgoing—with your help, of course. I’ve challenged myself, and I have a better outlook for my future now. I love who we are together, as a pair. This attraction is more than physical. It warms me up from the inside and pours into my veins. I was drawn to you the second I heard your laugh.”
“It wasn’t my awesome ass?” I eye him, and he squeezes my hips. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet.” He zips his lips.
I scratch my head. “Hmm. Where was I before I was rudely interrupted?” I grin, but then I get serious. “I’m afraid that once I drive onto that ferry tomorrow morning, everything I’ve gained will disappear. I’m afraid that what we have will fizzle out. I want to be a better person, a better partner, but I have to figure out my own issues first.” I groan. “And I have to deal with my mom.”
“How are things going? Has she chilled with the messages?”
“Somewhat. I got a text from my uncle saying he had a long talk with her and hopes it’ll defuse some of the lingering tension.”
“I don’t know your mom, which makes it difficult for me to give advice. But once she sees that you’re happier, maybe she’ll give you the space you need. Or she’ll reevaluate how she’s treating you.”
“I don’t want her to be the one who brings me down. She’s not a terrible mom, Leo. I know that. She’s dealing with her own grief. We deal with things differently all the time.”
“What about your living arrangements? Do you want to start over again somewhere new? You can build websites from anywhere.”
Should I tell him?I purse my lips and hesitate for a few seconds. “Want to know a secret?”
“Sure. Secrets can be fun,” he says, his eyes sparkling.
“I don’t need to work. Dad left me a lot of money in his will. And then, when Mom sold his half of the company to my uncle, I inherited money from that too. I’m only working for him to occupy my time.”
“D’you mean I’ve met the woman of my dreams, and she’s a sugar mommy? I hit the jackpot!”
I click my tongue. “You know it. Well, I might be sweet, but I’m not that rich. Anyway, my point in telling you this is that I could’ve done whatever I wanted. But because of Mom and because of my mental health, I wasn’t brave enough to make a fresh start—not till I was at the end of my rope. And it led me here to you.”
He squeezes my backside and pulls me closer to him. Slowly, he peppers kisses down one side of my neck and up the other. Then he asks, “Do you have a plan?”
“I think so. My next project is supposed to start in February. I’ve decided to take a leave of absence and transfer that project to another team.”
“Hmmm.” He purrs against my skin. “Can I be part of that plan?”
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his sweet lips. “I hope so. But how, when you’ll be traveling everywhere and hardly have a permanent residence? How can we build something when we can’t see each other?”
“You’re right. It’ll be a challenge, but I love a challenge here and there.”
I blow a strand of hair out of my face. “I can see that.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to go a day without talking to you. We can text, call, or video-call. We can get to know each other without the physical being involved. It’s also a way to share our daily routines.” I pull on my lower lip considering what he just said. “Please say that’ll be enough for now until we figure everything else out.”
I run my hands down his chest. “Yes, that’s what I want too. I guess I’m hesitant because I don’t want to bring you down when I have bad days.”