Page 41 of Time To Live Again

“Maybe going there is something you need to do to put it behind you. Have you gone to therapy?”

“No. I thought I could deal with it on my own… Boy, was I wrong. Lately I’ve been thinking about finding a therapist. I should’ve gone a long time ago. Not only because of the pandemic, but because of the way I am. Things got worse when my dad died. I don’t think my mom or I have fully dealt with his death. All the energy she once devoted to loving him has shifted toward me now, and it’s stifling. My brother and uncle confronted me about my mom’s codependence and my misery. It was a huge wake-up call, and I knew I needed to do something. Coming here was the first step.”

“Has it helped?”

I rest my head on his shoulder again and sigh. “More than you know. I still have a ways to go, though. This is the most I’ve spoken about it in a long time. It felt good to let all that out.”

He caresses my arm. “I’ve been dealing with my own issues for a long time too. Maybe we can help each other.”

I pull my head back. “What problems do you have, Mr. Sunshine?”

He toys with my hair. “We all have things we’re dealing with, beautiful. Some show it more than others or differently.”

“Like what?”

He taps my nose. “Nope. Don’t even try it. We aren’t talking about me. Today is about you.”

“You’re not fair.” I pout.

“Life isn’t always fair,” he says, his voice losing its cheerfulness. Vulnerability takes over. “I learned that a long time ago.”

“Hey, you can’t be sad. You said this wasmyday.” I didn’t mean to drag him down with me.

His face brightens. “You’re right. Sorry. There’s something about you that makes me want to open up and dissect my past. Anyway, back to you. Would you ever consider working in a doctor’s office? It’s not a hospital, and you could use your nursing background. Or the pharmaceutical industry? Or teach?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready. Another reason to go to therapy.” I stand and take in the beauty in the distance, my hands stuffed in my coat pockets. “I’m sorry, Leo. I know I’m a fucking mess. I shouldn’t have dumped my shit on you. We were having such a great day.”

Seconds pass, then his arms embrace me from behind. I sigh in relief and relax against him like he’s my boyfriend. It’s amazing what a hug can do for someone. At this moment, I realize how touch starved I am.

“You’re not a mess, Olive. You’re grieving both the life you had and the loss of your father. Regardless of your problems, mood swings, whatever, I want to be around you. I need to be. The intensity of it is insane, but it doesn’t scare me.”

I turn in his arms and look into his loving eyes. “It’s crazy, but I’m the same. And I wouldn’t change it. I love being here with you.”

“Me too,” he says. “Me too. And I’m at the end of my rope trying to resist you. But I want to do this right and take it slow.”

Cold wind whips around us, and I shiver. Leo’s embrace tightens around me. My eyes drift to his mouth, and I wish I could feel his tempting lips against mine. He dips his head until our mouths are almost touching. My heart pounds like I’m running a marathon. Magical energy crackles around us. I close my eyes, waiting for his lips to brush mine.Kiss me, please.I’m desperate for his touch.

“Look at that view,” a person says in the distance, ruining the moment. My body goes rigid, and we break apart.

Interrupted again! I want to scream for them to leave, but it’s useless. Leo’s clenched jaw shows he’s not happy either. He said he wanted to take it slow. This is taking it at a snail’s pace.

Leo glances at his watch. “I didn’t realize how late it is. We need to get going if we want to get to Ma’s on time. Ma and Tonya are like drill sergeants with their schedules.” I like how he saidMa’sinstead ofmy ma’s. There’s something more personal about it.

“That doesn’t surprise me. I can’t wait to eat,” I say.

“You won’t be disappointed.”

“I know that. I’ll be with you, and I have a feeling I’d be happy when I’m with you, regardless of where we are.”

“Such pressure. But I’ll take that challenge while you’re here. You’ll never want to leave.”

“But I will…because you won’t be here anymore. You’ll be off luxury hotel hopping, and I’ll be a distant memory.” During our hike, Leo told me about his job as a hotel critic. Who wouldn’t want to travel the world, stay in the best hotels, and make money doing it? I noticed something when he talked about it though—his enthusiasm diminished. I get the feeling he doesn’t really enjoy his job. But what do I know?

“Yeah, see. That’s where you’re wrong. There’ll be no forgetting you.”

I love it when he says things like this, but can I believe it? What could I offer him when I have too much baggage weighing me down? Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for me to come here to Orcas Island. Now I’m thinking I might go home with a much bigger problem.

A broken heart.

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