Page 41 of Colors and Curves

I don’t want to move or even open my eyes. The pillow I’m cuddling smells like Julius. We couldn’t get enough of each other last night… or was it just a couple hours ago? So many unspoken words were communicated through our bodies. When I mentioned I should leave, he asked me to stay the night. I was caught off guard because this side of Julius still surprises me. He melts my heart when he kisses me or just holds my hand. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. If someone told me he was like this the first time I met him, I would’ve laughed and walked away. But it’s true. The prick on a stick has a heart of gold hidden under that tough exterior. I love it. I think I love him.

Something tickles my nose. I open my eyes to find Julius gazing down at me. “Mmm,” I murmur. “Aren’t I lucky to wake up naked in your bed and see your gorgeous face?”

He lies on his side, his head propped on his hand. “I could watch you sleep for hours. You had the cutest grin on your face, then I realized how much I like you in my bed, hugging one of my pillows, wrapped in my blankets.”

“Aren’t you the sweetest thing in the morning or whatever time it is. Couldn’t sleep?”

“It’s eight. I slept for a little while, but once I woke up, my mind wouldn’t turn off.” His smile dims.

My stomach turns, and I’m suddenly more awake. I tuck the pillow under my chest and brace myself on my elbows for whatever’s coming. “What’s the matter? Do you regret what happened?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. If anything, the opposite.” He strokes my cheek, and I let my stiff arms and shoulders relax a little.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I inch closer to him, using the pillow to contain my boobs. They’re ready to pop out and say good morning, but whatever’s on his mind might not make me happy.

“I want to say no because that’s what I always do. But our relationship has my head spinning. A couple of weeks ago, the only people I really interacted with were Daisy and Chance. Well, okay, he’s an animal but whatever. My days were… flat. Same as my emotions. The only other thing that made me happy was my work. But you’ve barged into my world and spread your positive energy around me. I can’t go back to what I was. After the opening, and having to talk to reporters and socialize, I thought I’d have run right back to where I’m safe.”

“So what did you do?” It’s like I’m reading an angsty book, hanging on the edge, wondering where he’s going with this.

“I ran to you.”Oh.Talk about a zap to the heart. “I kept finding myself at your gallery. Waiting to talk to you, to be near you.”

Warmth spreads through my chest. I can’t find the words to respond so I kiss him instead. Long and hard until he flips me under him so I’m on my back. He groans.

“You drive me crazy, Sky. My body is already alert, even after our marathon last night. But I need to get this off my chest because I might chicken out later.” He grabs the blanket and covers me, then snuggles close. I like cuddling with him.

“So keep going. I want to know everything before you clam up.”

He traces my lower lip with his finger, then his feather-soft lips follow.

“Stop that. You’re distracting me,” I tease.

“I want you, Sky.” His sweet honesty lights me up… but he’s not finished. “And it scares the shit out of me. I don’t have a clue how to do this. I don’t want to screw this up or to hurt you.”

“We’re both taking chances, Julius. I’ve been burned really bad in the past, and I’ve become leery of relationships. Don’t you remember me saying I wanted to stay away from men? But after last night, I can’t and won’t stay away from you. I know you have a history, but it doesn’t make me want to walk away.” I caress the arm that’s draped over me.

He still looks worried. “That’s my point. If we want to take this to another level, I have to tell you everything. You need to know before you decide whether you want to be with me or not.”

I can’t think of anything he could tell me right now that’ll make me run.

“I’m listening. Don’t hold back.”

He closes his eyes as if he’s giving himself a pep talk. I stroke his cheek. “Take a deep breath. I think once you get it out, you’ll feel better.”

“This won’t be easy, so bear with me. I haven’t spoken about it in a long time. Not even with Daisy.” The anguish painted on his face is enough for me to already feel defensive for him.

“My father was a drunk bastard. He jumped from one job to the next because of his drinking. My mom worked her ass off to keep food on the table for us and to pay the bills. My father was mentally and physically abusive. He slapped my mom around in front of us. I remember every single time. As a little boy, I couldn’t protect her. When I tried, he came after me with his belt. In some ways, I was glad because he focused on me, instead of Mom and Daisy, but—”

My body tenses with rage and I want to kick his father’s ass. I try to stay calm but my heart pounds. No one deserves that. I always had a loving mom and a happy household. To urge him to keep going, I stroke his back.

“As time went by, Mom became very depressed. There were times when she’d just lie in bed, for days. She’d only come out to go to the bathroom and to eat once in a while.”

“Because of your dad?”

“Probably. We lived in a shithole trailer that was falling apart. We were lucky to have electricity. Sometimes we didn’t have heat or hot water.” He rubs his hands up and down his face. “My dad had been abusing me since the moment I showed symptoms of color blindness. But again, it was better me than them.”

“You were so brave.”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t feel like it. There were times when I was younger that I’d wet myself when he pulled in the driveway. I could tell what his mood was just by his body language. Those were the times Mom told me to change my clothes quickly and take Daisy to a nearby park to take pictures. Mom was the brave one. She always tried to protect us, no matter how deep her depression was.”

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