My mouth drops open and I try to speak. “What? What do you mean?”
“That’s my mother’s maiden name. Can we please go somewhere else to talk so I can explain?”
I cross my arms and stay right where I am. “No. Explain now.”
“Well, then we have a problem. I don’t talk about my private life out in the open. Of all people, you should remember that. That’s why I use Ariti.” His voice is firm but hushed. He’s not going to budge.
I’m in a battle with myself. All I’m used to are lies. That’s a road I said I wouldn’t go down again. I let him kiss me enough to make me want to sleep with him, but if we’re at this point, why hasn’t he—or at least Daisy—told me this already? If they had, I wouldn’t have been worried that they might have that kind of history together. They don’t really share a physical resemblance. My frustration is building.
A cackle escapes my lips. “No wonder you want to talk about me all the time. Here I was, thinking a guy actually wanted to get to know me, but no. You were just distracting me from asking you questions. Great way to start a relationship… if you can even call this that,” I snap. “Honesty is already out of the fucking window.”
“Are you finished?”Oh, really!“I know I should’ve told you. I’m sorry. I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with you… Wanted to forget who I was for a little while. Why is that so horrible?”
With my chin raised, I don’t answer.
“I never tell people more than they need to know about me. It’s for a good reason. It’s to protect me and Daisy from an invasion of privacy. Especially now that my photography has become more popular. I hardly know you, why would I dump all my baggage on you? And believe me, you don’t want to know all that anyway.”
A little voice whispers he might be right, but I ignore it. “Don’t you think I should be the judge of that?” I move closer to him again, but only because this zigzagging between people is annoying. So is this entire situation.
“No. Not yet. I’ve kept my mouth shut my entire life. Why would you expect me to tell you everything about me after a couple of weeks… not even a couple of weeks? Just telling you I’m color-blind was hard enough. And please don’t tell anyone that, by the way. I don’t get involved with women because of this, but I thought you were different and would understand. All I’m asking is that you be patient with me.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. I’m an open book. What you see with me is what you get. And when I look at you, I see someone who I could fall for. I’m not talking about the photographer. Just a handsome man who makes me feel more special than anyone I’ve known. Now, all I see is an act.”
His large hands embrace my shoulders and give them a gentle squeeze. “It wasn’t. I swear to you. I’m happy and full of hope when I’m around you. Those are things I never thought were possible, at least not at this point in my life. I didn’t think this was in the cards for me. Please understand.”
I shake his hands off me and step back. “You might think it’s not a big deal, but I do. I gotta go. I can’t think when you’re nearby.” Before he can respond, I walk away.
His voice blows words into the wind behind me, but I escape before they can catch me and I give in.
I don’t want to hear him.
But my heart says I should.
Staples is my favorite store right now. I just got back to the gallery after buying another huge container of rubber bands—well, two. One for my apartment and another to stash in my office. I toss them on my desk. I paced back and forth all night last night, yanking on those stupid things. I broke most of them. A couple of them hit me in the face when I lost control. One just missed my eye. I need a healthier way to release tension, maybe kickboxing or something.
I’m assuming Julius’s last name is Levi, since that’s Daisy’s. But what if hers is fake too? Are they ex-cons or something?Grr.I know I’m being extreme. His face turned to marble last night, but the softness in his eyes stayed. Or sadness.
Look at how he is with Chance.Everybody deserves a chance no matter how broken they are.That phrase is playing on a continual loop in my head. The more I think about it, the more I think Julius might be as broken as Chance, and maybe Daisy is too. What the hell happened to them that they go through so much to keep it behind them?
Every time my phone pinged today, I looked at it, hoping it was a message from him. Finally I realized how stupid that was—he doesn’t have my number. He could get it if he wanted it, but it’s probably easier to close himself off instead.
And at this point, I wouldn’t even know what to say.
The buzzer rings, alerting me someone’s entered the gallery. I check my appearance in the mirror and just shrug my shoulders. Despite only a few good hours of sleep last night, I don’t look too bad. I step into the showroom to find Daisy at the front desk.
“Hi, Daisy.”Keep it casual.“I was just about to send you the numbers for this week.”
“Let’s not pretend I’m here for business reasons. Just give me a few minutes of your time, then I’ll leave you alone.”
I nod. “Do you want to sit down?”
“Actually, no. I can’t stay long.” She folds her hands in front of her.
“So what’s up?”
“This is a unique situation that Julius and I are in with you. Business has always been business. Cut and dry. Then you came along and added a new dynamic. I’m still trying to get a grip on it myself because of the change in Julius. Well, up until last night, when he came home even more miserable than before he met you.”
“So it’s my fault?”