Page 41 of Passions & Peonies

“My body and heart are yours. I can’t—” she says between heavy breaths, driving me almost over the edge already.

I take my hand away and kneel, then grab a foil packet.

“Let me do it.” She sits up and takes it from me confidently, never breaking eye contact. It’s a huge turn on. My heart is about to jump out of my chest.

She tears it open with shaking hands. “This is the first time I’ve done this, but you seem to bring out the devil in me.”

“Stop talking,” I groan. “If you don’t, I’m going to finish before we even get started.” A sweet giggle releases.

Once it’s on, she takes my hands and pulls me with her as she lies back down. I position myself between her legs. Her hands roam down my chest to my abs, making every muscle in my body contract. I push slowly into her sweet warmth, trying to savor this moment, but my body takes over. Moans of delight release from Lacey’s beautiful mouth. I prop my hands on the sides of her head and lock eyes with hers. And that’s when I finally admit that I’m in love with her. Her eyes reflect every color of the sky and glisten with tears. Without looking away, I pump faster and she grabs my ass, pulling me in deeper.

“It feels so good. Don’t stop!”

Noises I’ve never made before come from deep inside as I build up to the most powerful orgasm I’ve ever experienced.

“Will, I’m… I’m…” She cries out as she tightens around me, and I follow right after her. After a few quick breaths, I wrap her in my arms, not leaving her body. We stay this way, holding on to each other, afraid to lose our connection.

Finally, I unwrap myself to see her face, but she’s looking the other way. I turn her face to me and see tears streaming down her cheeks. “How can I leave here… leave you… tomorrow? This was the most beautiful experience. Not just now, but this entire week. I want to be connected to you like this forever, but we can’t. Tomorrow, everything goes back to normal and it crushes me. I’m not the same person I was when I first stepped on that plane,” she sobs.

I dispose of the condom quickly and pull the blanket up over us. I curl up tight to her again, and she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

“Do we have to end after today?” I ask. “I’ll be back in the States in July.”

She leans away from me. “And then what? We continue and then you leave for six months again? It wouldn’t be fair for either of us. Look at us after one week together.”

“I know.” I press my lips against her forehead. “I know.”

She’s right. Neither one of us can promise anything. We have different jobs, and mine puts me over fifteen hundred miles away from her every six months. I can’t ask her to quit her job and come with me. I’m lucky because I have Josh. She’d have to leave her family.

I love her, but I’m not sure I should tell her. It would be selfish of me.

She takes a shaky breath. “I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t expect this awful heartache, knowing you won’t be on that plane with me tomorrow. You’re part of me now, but I have no idea what to do with that. Was this a mistake?”

“No! We were meant to meet, Lacey. There’s no other way to explain it. I don’t want you to leave, but what choice do we have?”

She gazes up at me and wipes away a tear trailing down my face. I didn’t realize I was crying too.

“Let’s make the heartache go away and live only in this moment.” She turns us so I’m on my back now and she’s straddling me. I push up onto my elbows while she trails kisses from my pecs all the way up to the mark behind my ear. The pain in my heart is increasing, but it won’t dull the love I have for her. I sit up and take her face in my hands.

“You own my heart, Lace. I will never give it to another woman.” I kiss her until we almost can’t breathe.

We make love over and over again, releasing every desperate emotion with every tear.

Chapter 20

Lacey

I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep. Will’s on his side facing me, sleeping peacefully. His chest is bare, and a white sheet covers the rest of him just below his belly button. It stirs my hormones again, if that is even possible after the number of hours we’ve just spent naked together. I let my eyes trace every line and curve of his face, trying desperately to fill my memory bank. I’ve got pictures of him on my camera, but that’s not the same as the real thing. Tears form in my eyes again.

Eventually, we made it back to the marina, but we didn’t leave the boat. Instead, we locked ourselves inside and talked for hours—when we weren’t getting twisted in the sheets. We told each other things we’ve never told anyone else. Now here I am, staring at the time on my phone as if a bomb will go off any second. I set my alarm a while ago, but I’ve turned it off. We agreed that he’d come to the lobby with me to say goodbye, but I can’t do it. As he is now, that’s what I want my last memory of him to be. Not me crying in his arms again.

I need to be thankful for my time with him and move on. Our lifestyles and jobs don’t match. If I were to have him, I couldn’t deal with him being around only part time. I’d never tell him to change his job, but heartbreak would set in every time he left.

My heart can handle only so much pain.

I move off the bed painstakingly slow.Please don’t wake up. I stare at him one more time, then close the bedroom door. It’s the right thing. I have to do it this way. I gather my things and stuff them in my backpack. I look around one more time to make sure I’m not forgetting anything.

My hands shake as I unlock the cabin door. My heart pounds; I’m afraid I won’t get away before he wakes. Once I’m free and on the dock, I look back once more. The memories of us on the bed last night under the stars crack me open. I shake my head and run out of the marina. As tears stream down my face, I somehow text Sky and tell her I’m on my way to the lobby. She responds, telling me she’s already checked us out and she’s waiting for me.

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