Page 14 of Absolution

“I didn’t think you’d punish me that way.”

She’d expected a spanking, perhaps with one of the many implements he seemed to house at the apartment, and while her ass was grateful for the reprieve, no number of swats had ever evoked this emotional response from her before.

“That’s still not answering my question, little girl.” His chuckle was playful.

“I know.” She sighed. “I don’t know how to answer because I don’t know if it was too much.” She pulled in more of that consoling air. “I seem to find the denigration harder to manage than the strikes, sir.”

“Harder intellectually?”

“Yes,” she squeaked, sniffing back her emotion. “I can’t rationalize why you want to treat me that way.”

“But youdidseem to like the results?”

There was no gleeful judgment in his question, only a relaying of the facts as he saw them, and Ella was in no position to argue. She realized how turned on she’d been by the time he’d plunged into her pussy, and there was no denying it—she’d hardly ever been readier for him.

“Yes.”

Therein laid the real crux of her paradox.

It was bad enough that she’d found a man who reveled in her denigration. Yet it was far harder to reconcile the knowledge that she relished every second of the treatment. Even when she resisted it in the moment, even when she fought and screamed in complaint—and she had hardly done that with the scrambled egg—there was still no getting away from the acknowledgment that deep down, she wanted it.

Tucker propelled her to new depths every day, but once she’d come up for air, she was always begging him for more.

“And you struggle with that?” He’d put the pieces of her contradiction together perfectly.

“I think so, sir.” It was easier to admit in the ease of the bedroom’s half-darkness. “I just don’t understand why I’m like this.”

Why couldn’t she be one of those girls who was stimulated by rose petals and champagne? Why must she be the type who liked rough sex and disparagement?

“Don’t put it like that.” His hand rose to her face and caressed her chin. “You’re perfect just as you are, little girl. There’s nothing wrong with any of the ways we love each other.”

Love?Was that what they demonstrated for each other when he ordered her to suck scrambled eggs from the side of his feet?

Her pussy clenched even as the query flitted through her mind. Sure, it aroused her, and she guessed she’d have to learn to live with that, but could they call it love? Hell, they hadn’t even contemplated using the ‘L’ word before.

“It’s just difficult to understand, sir.” A new calmness settled over her as his thumb made small circles on her cheek. Previous lovers would have driven her mad with such an annoying deed, yet Tucker had a way of quieting her mind with such simple acts. “I didn’t know I liked this until I met you.”

“I understand.” His palm cradled the side of her face as he drew her closer to his chest. “I’ll try to keep all of this in mind, little girl.”

“Thank you.” She smiled against him, safe in the knowledge that however low he pushed her, Tucker would stand by that vow. It was amazing the extent to which she’d learned to trust him in such a short and insanely intense period of her life, and yet breathing in his reassuring scent, there was little doubt that she probably had more faith in him than just about anyone else.

Apart from Susie and Julia.

“I think I need a shower, sir.” Her concentration flitted to the strands of hair fallen around her face. The closershe looked, the more she found pieces of her scrambled egg embedded in her locks. It was the final proof of her recent humbling experience.

“I noticed that.” There was a trace of amusement in his tone again, but the kisses he planted on her forehead consoled her. “And yes, that’s fine. I’ll happily help you wash your hair if you like, but first, I’d like to be clearer about whether I went too far in the kitchen.”

She pressed her palm between the soft hairs of his chest, musing on his question. Had he gone too far? Her initial instinct was to say that he had, but hindsight was warming her to the idea that the ordeal on her knees hadn’t been as bad as it first seemed. The heat between her legs assured her that the experience hadn’t all been bad.

“Honestly, sir?” She lifted her head for the first time since they’d left the kitchen. “I’m a little torn about my answer.”

Tucker’s lips twitched. “Can you explain?”

“It was terrible at times.” She met his eyes. “And wonderful at others.”

“So, no, then?” His brow rose. “It wasn’t too much?”

“I…” The weight of his stare was almost suffocating. “I’d love to say it was, but I can’t.”

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