Page 4 of Cooper

For me.

Before I can truly appreciate the magnificence before me, he grips my chin with two fingers, forcing my eyes up to his. “You’re positive you want to do it like this? A thousand percent?”

“Yes!”

He thrusts up so hard and deep my eyes roll back in my head. His mouth seeks mine and once again, there’s nothing but us. This. It’s carnal and rough, but deliciously sensual, the tenderness of his kisses nowhere near the ferocity of what he’s doing with his cock.

“Cooper…” I can’t get enough and dig my fingers into his shoulders.

“Ryan,” he growls, thrusting in again. “When I’m inside you, it’s Ryan.”

“Ryan.” I love the way it sounds on my tongue, and I kiss him some more.

“Come for me, baby,” he says gruffly. “I’m so fucking close, but I need you to go first.”

“Harder,” I pant.

The next couple of thrusts are so intense I know it’ll be over in another few seconds. Pleasure races through my lower region and explodes out, forcing me to let go, his name a silent scream on my lips as we get off.

For a long time, we don’t move. He’s still hard, still buried to the hilt, our bodies pressed together. I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now because it’s sex, but it’s something else too. We’ve gotten to know each other well the last six months, but I thought my fantasies were just sexual. Now that we’ve done the sex thing, I realize there’s more.

Not that I’ll tell him that.

I’m vulnerable after losing Logan, and Ryan isn’t just a friend, but the hottest, most interesting man I’ve ever met.

“God, I needed that,” I whisper.

“You and me both.” He’s stroking my shoulder and upper arm.

“Thank you,” I say.

“I should be thanking you.” His eyes find mine in the darkness. “That was pretty fucking amazing.”

“Agreed.” I sigh softly. “Will you keep in touch, Ryan?”

“I will. I promise.”

TWO

Natalia

The alarm goes off earlyevery morning, but I’m always up before it buzzes. I’ve been home for a month but am still having a hard time sleeping. It’s not even five in the morning and I’m awake, so I get out of bed and pad into the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth, putting my hair in a ponytail. I pull on workout clothes, since I’m going to hit the gym, and grab my phone on the way out.

I take the stairs and head down to the professional quality gym that was built here at the palace where I live. I’m the first one here today, as usual, and I get on the treadmill. I start to run even though I haven’t eaten or warmed up. Work and exercise keep the memories, and the loneliness, at bay. It’s hard being back at the palace because everything reminds me of what happened.

The last few nights before Logan died.

The pool where we’d skinny dipped.

Mottled memories that leave me sad and confused.

I pick up speed and close my eyes. I don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want to forget him, but the daily reminders are killing me. Not just of him, but of the danger, the risk, and my own mortality. My job as a Royal Protector is inherently dangerous, and while I’d never been afraid before, I am now. It’s more of a subconscious thing, where I pretend everything is okay by the light of day and then it all comes crashing down at night when I close my eyes.

I never sleep more than a few hours, and when I do, it’s often riddled with nightmares. I wasn’t with Logan when he died, but I know the story about what happened, so it lurks in my subconscious, taunting me every time I close my eyes. My nightmares run the gamut from Logan’s actual death to the deaths of all the men I served with in Iraq, which only happens in my dreams.

I hadn’t known much about the marines before I’d joined that unit, and everything I read about Iraq had been unflattering, but I didn’t have a choice in the matter if I wanted to become a Royal Protector. And I did. It’s all I’ve wanted since King Erik took back our country from the dictator-style monarch who ruled us for the decade Erik was in exile.

I was in the Limaji military by then. It was the only way to make enough money to help my family eat, so I did what I had to do, but I hated every minute of it. Until King Erik took power.