Page 116 of Cooper

“I don’t think I can be one if she isn’t,” I admit quietly.

He seems thoughtful. “We’d hate to lose you both, but I understand. You’ll do what’s best for you. Erik doesn’t want anyone on the team who finds it burdensome to make that kind of sacrifice.”

“Have you ever had to choose your duty over love?”

Daniil’s eyes are suddenly shrouded, as if I touched upon something painful. “More than once,” is all he says. “And it sucks. I don’t recommend it.”

I lean back in my chair and try to think.

Natalia is my priority.

As much as I want to be a Royal Protector, I’ll give it up if it means being with her. But the only jobs I’m truly qualified for are dangerous. I could ride a desk at the NSA, but I’d be miserable, and she has to know that about me.

Sadly, I don’t know where that leaves us.

Or what I’ll do if she doesn’t love me enough to compromise.

* * *

Our room seemsempty without her in it, and nothing more so than our bed.

I can see that clothes are missing from the closet and her drawers, her duffel bag is gone, and the bathroom counter is bare, all makeup and hair products missing.

Almost like she’s not planning to come back.

Fuck.

I stare up at the ceiling a long time.

I tried to call her several times today and it went straight to voicemail every time, indicating she’s turned off her phone. I’m struggling with the idea of a break-up. Is that what this is? Is she just done with me and everything here in Hiskale? Or is this just her taking some time to get her head together?

It’s been a stressful year for her, so I don’t begrudge her the time, but it bothers me that she’s shutting me out.

Even though I sort of did the same damn thing.

I don’t know how to apologize or what I’m apologizing for.

All I know is I’m hollow and empty without her. I can function, and tomorrow I’ll take my duty shift in the surveillance room, but the excitement is gone. There’s just a strange feeling of nothingness now.

Because without her, nothing makes any sense.

She completes the missing pieces of me, pieces I never realized weren’t there.

So if that means apologizing for something I don’t believe I did wrong, I will.

It’s the middle of the night but something tells me she’s awake. Her phone might still be turned off, but she has to turn it on eventually. I know her well enough to know she’ll want to keep up with Lucianna and the baby, and she’ll worry about what’s going on at the palace.

COOPER: Hey, baby. I know you’re mad at me, and I’m sorry if I hurt you. You know that wasn’t my intention, right? You and me, we have something special, and I need you to know I meant what I said in that text. That I love you. That I’m in love with you. Please, can we talk?

To my surprise, I see the notification that my message was read.

I hold my breath, hoping beyond hope that she’s going to answer, but she doesn’t.

Damn.

So I send another message.

COOPER: Won’t you at least let me know that you’re okay?

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