Page 105 of Cooper

Until then, I’m terrified for him, and nothing helps.

It takes forever to fall asleep, and when I do, I’m wracked with nightmares. Images of Logan. Images of the torture Ryan described to me when we talked about what happened to him in Iraq. Images of all the Royal Protectors being murdered and tortured and abused. It’s gotten to a point I’m afraid to close my eyes.

Earlier tonight, I succumbed to pure exhaustion, but it’s three in the morning and now I’m wide awake. There’s no chance I’m getting any more sleep, so I text my sister. The baby hasn’t been sleeping well either, so if she’s up, I’ll go watch the baby and let her rest. No reason for both of us to be awake.

LUCI: I’m awake. She sleeps all day and then she’s up all night. I can’t seem to get her on a schedule.

NATALIA: On my way. I’ll get her and bring her back to my room so you can rest.

LUCI: Don’t you have to work?

NATALIA: Not at three in the morning.

I get dressed and head to Luci’s room, which is at the end of the hall. She opens the door with a very fussy little Ryann in her arms.

“Didn’t anyone tell you we sleep at night?” I ask Ryann, taking her from Lucianna.

Lucianna snorts. “Not hardly. Come on in. It’ll take me a few minutes to settle down anyway.”

“Okay.” I walk in and sink into a chair by the window. The room she’s in is nice, much like mine, but with an alcove she’s using as Greta’s room. It’s meant to be a separate sitting room, but this is perfect so Greta can hopefully sleep more soundly when the baby is fussy.

There’s also a more comfortable chair than anything in my room, for Lucianna to use when she’s rocking or feeding the baby. Otherwise, she’d spend all her time on the bed or at the small desk, which isn’t efficient.

“How are you feeling?” I ask.

“I’d feel great if not for the lack of sleep. Greta was a much better sleeper than this one, but it’s okay. I have a lot of help.” She pauses. “Thanks to you. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“Of course I did. You’re my sister, and I love you. I couldn’t leave you there once you said you were ready to walk away.”

“He’s been blowing up my phone, calling and texting, crying and begging, and then threatening and raging.” She sighs. “I never should have married him, much less had children with him. And now I’m stuck with him forever.”

“You’re not. He’ll always be their father, but he’s not much of one, so it’s no big loss.”

“I still feel guilty.”

I look up warily. “Luci…”

“Not enough to go back,” she adds hurriedly, “but I think about what to tell Greta when she’s older. Why I left her father for my fancy new life.”

“You left him because hebeatyou,” I reply firmly. “You were afraid for your life and your children’s. But also, life here isn’t going to be that fancy. Once you’re ready to work, it’ll either be in the kitchens or as a maid. There’s nothing glamorous about that.”

“I don’t care. I’m so happy to be away from Pieter and Vinake.” She shudders slightly. “I’m not afraid of hard work. But watching my children starve or suffer because we can’t afford a winter coat, or worse, if he were to start beating them… I’m much more afraid of that.”

“It won’t happen,” I promise. “As long as you don’t go back to him. Because if you do go back, I don’t know that I can take you away a second time.”

“I’m not going back,” she whispers, reaching out to gently trail her fingers along Ryann’s cheek. “Never.”

“Good.”

“What about you? Any news from your Ryan?”

I make a face. “Nothing. His phone is off. He hasn’t called or texted or even sent a secure message through one of our emergency channels. He completely ghosted me.” And last time he did that, he’d been captured by Middle Eastern insurgents.

“You know he’s trying to protect you, don’t you?”

I bristle. “Why is everyone trying to protect me? My job is literally putting myself in between a bullet and the royal family. Iamthe protector. Why does no one understand that?”

She frowns. “I think they do. Otherwise, why would you be here? They’re just trying to protect you from unnecessary risks. And Ryan, he loves you, so he doesn’t want to be responsible for something from his past impacting you.”

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