Page 1 of Cooper

ONE

Natalia

Sleep has eludedme for seven long months. Since the night I got the phone call that my boyfriend Logan was dead.

I thought what we had was going somewhere.

Then he was gone, and I was sent to Iraq as part of a military exchange program with the United States Marines.

Now that’s over, and I’m going home.

Except I don’t want to.

Six months in the Middle East has changed me in ways I can’t quite explain. On one hand, I’m not as excited about my career choice anymore. On the other, it makes the importance of what I do that much more poignant. Being in a war zone has given me a darker perspective on life, and coupled with Logan being killed in the line of duty, it leaves me confused and out of sorts.

There hasn’t been a lot of danger since I’ve been here, but I’ve seen so much poverty, illness, and civil unrest. I understand now why my boss, Prince Sandor Gustaffson, said a deployment was mandatory. That I need to experience more than what I can see at the palace or in our country’s military.

It’s complicated.

Giving up on sleep, I pull on shorts and a T-shirt, slide my feet into sandals, and pad outside. It’s comfortable in the middle of the night, cool even, unlike the afternoons which got up into the high eighties. It’s spring, but it’s still cold at home in Limaj. The nights are cold and the days comfortable, though they might still get snow a few more times. Probably not in the capital where I live, but up in the northern part of the country where I grew up, there will be at least one more winter storm.

My transport is leaving at oh-six-hundred hours to take me to Germany. From there, I’ll catch a commercial flight to Limaj, and I’ll be home for the first time in six months. Soon after, I’ll be promoted to a full Royal Protector, and it will be the beginning of a whole new era of my life.

And I’m completely underwhelmed.

“Looking for one last overnight duty shift?” A familiar voice speaks behind me, and I turn, smiling.

“Hey, Captain.”

Captain Ryan Cooper has been my commanding officer the last six months, and we’ve become good friends. He’s smart, capable, and hotter than the Iraqi desert. I’ve done my best not to think about him like that, but every time he looks at me with those blue eyes of his, I get a little weak in the knees. Luckily, we’ve been far too busy to think about it much, so I let a few nightly fantasies become my naughty guilty pleasure.

“Can’t sleep?”

I shake my head. “I slept for a few hours, but my eyes popped open and now I’m wide awake. I’ll sleep on the flight.”

“What’s wrong, Nat?” He leans against the wall and meets my gaze. “You’ve been quiet the last few days, and I’m sure it’s not because you’re sad to leave Iraq.”

“I’m not ready,” I whisper, staring up at the night sky. “I don’t know how to walk back into the palace and remember everything about my life before Logan died.”

“It’s been seven months,” he replies quietly. “It’s time to face all that and make your peace with it.”

“Trying to get rid of me?” I quip, giving him a teasing smile even though I know he isn’t doing any such thing.

His eyes darken as he slowly shakes his head. “Not even a little. Having you here has been a bright spot in a shitty deployment.”

I look away again, sliding down the side of the building so I can sit. “It hasn’t been shitty for me.”

“You can’t run away from what happened forever,” he says, sinking down beside me. “Losing the man you loved?—”

“That’s just it,” I interrupt. “That’s the problem. I don’t think I loved him. We’d only been romantically involved about a month, though we were friends much longer. It was new and fun and passionate, but we were going slow because we worked together. Having him die like that, during a mundane duty assignment, was jarring. Not that I’m afraid to go back to work, but I’m afraid to get close to any of them now. Hell, I don’t know if I can get close toanyoneanymore.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure you’ve gotten close to at least one person,” he says, looking over at me pointedly.

Our eyes lock, and something sizzles in the air between us. Damn, he’s gorgeous. But every time I think about how good-looking he is, how nice, how strong and capable, I remember Logan and guilt whiplashes through me.

Except I’m leaving in a few hours. And if I don’t say or do something, I might never see Ryan Cooper again.

“We’re never going to see each other again, are we?”

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