Page 202 of Ashley & the A-Listers

It was quieter without him.

Cameron missed him already. How long had River been harboring these feelings without telling him? Why wouldn’t he have just told Cameron?

How long did you keep him a secret?

Anger flared through him. At himself? At River? He couldn’t tell, but that spark—that was what he’d cling to today, to get him through shooting.

“Ready to see him again?” Dylan asked.

Cameron shook his head, staring down into his mug. “No.”

“Why not?” Dylan questioned. “Because you’re mad, or because you feel guilty?”

Cameron frowned at him. “Listen, I don’t—I still need to process. I’ve hardly come to terms with the fact that he’s?—”

“Gone?”

Cam nodded.

“I know it’s all still fresh. But maybe you should really think aboutwhyhe’s gone. Why it came to this.”

With that, Dylan stood, glancing over Cam’s shoulder. “I’ll be ready to go in a bit.”

Then he left, and Cam stood there with a furrowed brow as he frowned after Dylan.

The sharp ginger of Ashley announced her entrance before her soft footfalls did.

“It’s going to be a long day,” Cameron said, and leaned back into her. She nodded, chin tapping his shoulder.

Her arms squeezed around him and Cameron didn’t know if the hug was for his benefit or her own.

She was sad, too, guilt ridden—he could feel it through their connection. Even Dylan… through the distant haze, a vague sense of something decidedlybluelingered.

“We’ll get through it,” she murmured.

Her reassurance was nice, her affection warm. But River always knew what to say, knew how to get him in the right mindset before the studio.

Cam didn’t know how to get there, to put all this aside when it felt so loud inside his own head.

Why did it come to this?

Cam wrapped his hands around his warm mug and sighed.

Cameron knew it would happen eventually.

They’d have to cross paths again. They couldn’t avoid each other forever. Not on set.

That was the thing with dating your coworkers. You had to see them, even when you were scared to.

River was slumped in his chair, squinting at his laptop, glasses askew and hair a bit messier than usual. He was definitely wearing the same pants he had been wearing yesterday.

Cameron envisioned walking across the set, fixing River’s hair, and pulling his glasses off so the man could rub his tired-looking eyes.

If we were together, I could’ve done that.

Because they would’ve been public.

Youalwayscould’ve done that. The only one stopping you was… you.

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