Page 199 of Ashley & the A-Listers

The guilt was eating him alive. It lived in him, was a piece of him.

Even though Ashley seemed happy even without the gym. Even though Cameron was thriving and Dylan was more on top of his duties than ever. It didn’t make it right, just because it’d seemingly worked out.

He’d tried to limit his time with them recently, coming up with more work, more writing, more things to lose himself in since reality was unbearable. The truth threatened to spill out of him at every turn, every glance.

River traded one secret for another, made one mistake, and was losing sleep over it.

And yet here was Cameron, proving again how little River’s presence in his life mattered, and covering his ass for it.

Almost bitterly, River tugged the tissue paper free, and reached in.

Cool glass met his hand, and he pulled the container out.

It was… a perfume.

“It was Ashley’s idea,” Cameron said, as River read the label.

Swirly gold font on a slim, square glass spray bottle swam before him.River.

“Spray it,” Ashley told him.

River popped the top off, and his own scent met his nose, except… a hundred times stronger.

He spritzed it once, and his scent filled the room, as strong and loud as Ashley’s ginger, Dylan’s grass, Cam’s sweetness. He mixed right along with them, a perfect cocktail.

He wished they didn’t smell so divine together.

“It’s a pheromone spray. So you can scent mark him,” Ashley murmured, studying him.

River’s lips opened and closed again and again as he tried to find words.

Instead, the only thing running through his mind were the words he’d tried to run from these past weeks.

You don’t deserve this. Not a partner. Not a pack. Not an omega.

River had betrayed them.

But Cameron’s betrayed you, too. Time and time again.

Refusing to go public foryears,until the right alpha showed up to make it all worth the trouble. Was River not worth the trouble?

Apparently not. Not worth telling the media, and not worth waiting on a bond. Waiting to complete the pack.

He couldn’t be a part of this pack.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to be.

River sat the glass bottle on the coffee table, capped it, and inhaled, his entire chest shaking with the words that tried to rattle up his esophagus like bile.

“I can’t take this,” he said.

He stood, and Cam’s scent turned sour. “I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to mark you like an alpha,” River said, and stepped back from the couch.

Cam’s expression was fallen, crushed, and Dylan’s brow was furrowed. Ashley’s lips parted softly in shock.

“I don’t deserve to be a part of this pack,” River declared. “And you know what? I don’t even know if I want to be,” he admitted, frustration leaking into this voice.

Cam stood, a flash of confusion on his face. “How could you say that? You?—“

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