Page 213 of Ashley & the A-Listers

“I promised you,” Cameron whispered. His stomach twisted.

“And then the interview happened and I washurt. I started feeling like I was just… tiding you over until Ashley got here.” River shook his head. “And I made a stupid, emotionally-charged decision that fucked us all.” He groaned. “Ashley and I talked, and we came to an understanding. I just—I’m gonna regret it forever. I exposed our private lives to the public. It was a breach of our trust, and I’m sorry. I fumbled the best thing in my life. You and Ashley and Dylan, and the pack we could’ve had. And at the very least, I want you to know how sorry I am.”

Cameron stood, as if to sayfuck itto himself,and sat beside River on the couch, facing him, within arm’s reach. “I’m sorry I treated you so poorly that I drove you to do something like that. I’m sorry that even when it all seemed to work out, that I fucked it up further by bonding Ashley without considering where you would fall, or how you would feel. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t worth it. I’m sorry I ignored your feelings and concerns for so long. I love you, and I want you in my life, and if you can forgive me for being so incredibly insensitive for so long, I will love you how you deserve to be. Not hidden. Not a secret.

“Once the secret was out, it was so… easy to adjust. Management, the fans, all the obstacles I’d used as excuses crumbled, because they weren’t what was holding us back. It was me.Iwas the problem. I thought just because we’d ended up in the same place it didn’t matter how we got there, but that wasn’t fair to you. To the relationship we’d built.”

River parted his lips before closing them, gaze falling to the short table before them.

Cam’s heart was pounding.

“I’ve also been working on this. With all my free time,” River said. He gingerly pushed the stack of papers on the table a few inches over, in front of Cameron, before retreating across the space. “Even if you don’t make it with me, it deserves to be made. It’s a good story.”

Cameron studied the stack of papers, thinking back to a memory. Years ago.

Cameron sighed, collapsing against the cozy, fuzzy couch in their shared apartment. “I’m tired of action.”

“What?!” River gasped, opening his arms and letting Cam lay against him. “Has hell frozen over?”

Chuckling, Cameron shook his head. “I don’t know. I miss working on a smaller set. With people who just want to tell astory, not worry about what action stunt will have the most shock value.”

“What would you write if you could?” River asked, breath rustling the hair at the back of Cam’s neck. He shivered before stilling, leaning his head back on River’s shoulder, resting his hands over the ones on his belly.

“I think I’d write… a romance. Something slightly tragic, something that makes your heart hurt for the characters. I want people to feel things that they’ll think about for months to come.”

“You think people don’t think about Axel?”

Cameron shrugged. “Don’t know.”

Didheeven think about Axel? Outside of shooting?

Cameron supposed he did. Sometimes. “Axel would like that,” he’d think when seeing a leather jacket in a store. Did that count?

“Who are the characters in this story you want to tell?” River asked.

Cameron decided to humor him. “Hmm. Two men. Queer.”

“Do they end up together?” River asked.

“Of course. Gay men deserve happy endings, too.”

“Good. How do they meet?”

“Don’t know,” Cameron said.

“What’s the conflict?” River’s lips twitched against his cheek.

“Don’t know,” Cameron answered.

River snickered softly, the sound warming Cameron to his core. “You sound just like a writer.”

“Learned from the best,” Cameron murmured.

River’s arms squeezed tightly, and?—

The memory faded as Cameron stared down at the thick manuscript.

“You wrote it?” he asked, voice soft with disbelief.

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