Page 34 of How Not to Date an Angel

Julian scoffed. “No, no. I’m protecting my own virtue. Who knows what you angels are into,” he drawled, another inflection in his voice that Rami couldn’t recognize.

“As if I wouldever,” Rami grumbled, eyes widening on the wall across from them, cheeks flushing at just the notion.

It was then they realized the demon was trying not to laugh, shoulders shaking the mattress.

“Oh, I see, you’re laughing at me,” Rami stated, and rolled their eyes.

“Me? Never.”

Rami ignored him and closed their eyes, willing themself to go to sleep.

Somewhere around the second hour, after counting their breaths and listening to the demon rustling around, they actually managed it.

Rami awoke slowly, sleep receding like a particularly heavy fog.

Goodness, they hadn’t slept so deeply in what felt like ages. Oh, they could lay here all morning, with this comfortable heaviness to themself.

They were warm. Felt kind of like melting into the mattress.

They blinked their eyes open, the morning light shining in through the cracks in the blinds.

“Wah!” they shouted, and scrambled back from thedemon in their bed!

Julian laughed, one hand beneath his cheek, apparently awaiting Rami’s awakening, only inches away.

“Did you know you flop around in bed?”

What happened to the damned—

Rami untangled themself from the sheets and blankets, kicking a pillow off the bed in the process.

They slid their legs over the side, and grabbed the aforementioned chastity divider before tossing it back on the bed. How had it gotten over to their side, anyway?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rami said, and hurried over to the dresser. They grabbed themself a set of day clothes, ignoring the sound of the demon stretching luxuriously among their sheets.

“Yeah,” Julian groaned. Rami turned just in time to watch him wince, lowering his arms back by his sides. But Rami also noticed the trail of hair on his stomach, leading down to—Rami averted their gaze. “Like one of those gas station chickens. That rotate,” he said, and spun his finger. “You know…”

“Rotisserie chickens?” Rami couldn’t help but provide.

“Yes! That,” he said. “You rotisseried all night.”

Rami stopped before the bathroom in indignation. “Well, you rustled around quite a bit yourself before I fell asleep,” Rami said.

“How late were you up?” Julian asked.

Rami shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Oh no, you didn’t hear me masturbate, did you?” Julian asked.

Rami sputtered. “Excuse me! You did no such thing. I’m almost certain I’d know—” They caught the twitch of the demon’s lip. “You’re laughing at me again! Ugh!”

Rami stomped into the bathroom and barely resisted slamming the door behind themself.

“Oh, come on, Feathers, don’t be like that!” Julian called out. “Besides, once you fell asleep,” he continued, “I didn’t have much room to do anything because you snuggled right up to m—”

Rami turned on the shower, the rush of water drowning out the demon’s voice.

“I did no such thing!” they hissed to themself as they tugged their shirt and pants and underthings off. “That insufferable…demon!”

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