Page 35 of Dared

I couldn’t hold him back. I wouldn’t allow him to put me before himself. I needed to persuade him to go and that I’d be fine without him. Because Iwould. “It’s okay. I need to get my work finished. You can tell me all about it on Saturday. I-I’ll come over, and if you’re hungover, we can laze around in your bedroom and have a gaming day.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. You should go.” If I said it enough times, I’d convince myself I meant it. And I didn’t want him to turn down invitations because of me, anyway. That was so wrong.

He sighed. “Okay. But if you want me to come over or anything instead, you know I will.”

“I won’t, but thanks. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.” Finally, his doubtful look was gone, and his bright smile was back. And really, that was all I wanted.

15

“Hi, Dad.”

“Leo?” The surprise in my dad’s voice was clear over the sounds of talking and glasses clinking in the background. “What’s wrong?”

“Um. Nothing. I just wanted to say hi.” Lying on my bed, I’d been scrolling through my phone as I attempted to take my mind off the fact that I hadn’t gone to the student union—that I’d just turned it down for no other reason than my fears. Fear of holding Finn back and fear of being in a social situation. It was then that I realised I hadn’t spoken to my dad in over a month. According to my call log, I’d made six attempts to call him over the past four weeks, and I knew I’d left at least three voicemails, but the only correspondence we’d had were a few sporadic texts where he’d wished me luck in my assignments, and I’d replied.

The background noise suddenly cut out with the slam of a door, and my dad spoke again. “It’s a Friday night. Shouldn’t you be out with your friends?”

“I didn’t really feel like it. I’m having a quiet night in.”

He huffed through the phone. “Leo. What’s that attitude all about? Even I’m out with my friends. You should be out having fun and enjoying your student years, not shut up in your bedroom staring at a collection of pixels. It’s not healthy. I’ve told you this before.”

“Yeah. Um. I went out to a club the other day.”

“Now, that’s more like it. How’s uni going? Met any nice girls yet?”

“I’ve met a nice boy,” I said without thinking. There was a long pause, and I realised how that had sounded. “Not like that. I mean, I made a new friend.”

My dad laughed. “However you meant it, it’s good news. Means you’re out socialising instead of hiding yourself away. But, Leo, making a new friend or even a partner shouldn’t be something you have to tell me, not at your age. You’re a grown man, and you’ve been at that uni for nearly two years. What are you doing with yourself?”

I swallowed hard. “Well. Uh, I got my dance module results back. They?—”

“Tell me about your computing project, the one you were doing with the…what did you say in the text? A booking system? That’s something useful, a real skill you can build on. If you want me to use my contacts, put some feelers out for your future employment, you know I will. Just say the word.”

“Thanks.”

“Right. I’ve got to go. The pub quiz is about to start. Why don’t you call this new ‘friend’ and get yourself down to the pub, eh? I’ll talk to you soon. Take care, alright?”

The call cut out, and I threw my phone down next to me, letting my eyes close as I focused on taking deep, calming breaths. I knew my dad was just trying to be helpful, and I knew he struggled because he felt like he couldn’t relate to me, but it didn’t stop it hurting.

My phone vibrated softly with a text alert.

FINN:

Wish you were here. I hope you’re not working too hard

My dad’s words flashed through my mind.

It’s a Friday night. Shouldn’t you be out with your friends? You should be out having fun and enjoying your student years, not shut up in your bedroom staring at a collection of pixels. Why don’t you call this new “friend” and get yourself down to the pub, eh?

Another message came through.

FINN:

Not trying to guilt trip you! Just saying I wish you were here. Looking forward to a whole day of gaming tomorrow

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