Page 22 of Beneath the Surface

“Shut the fuck up!” Grayson hissed back at me.

“Unlike you three, I’m not going to pretend everything is okay,” I told them as I stood up. “Hide your heads in the sand all you want. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”

None of them tried to stop me when I stormed off.

When I got to my car, my phone began to ping, and I didn’t know why. I thought that maybe it was one of them reaching out to me.

I was surprised my phone didn’t fall to the ground.

1…2…3…4

You are guilty, and I know.

14

AVA

We all watched as Cruz stormed out of the room. He shouldn’t be alone. None of us should, especially as the world crumbled around us, but at that moment, I hated him just a little bit.

Did he have to be so candid? Couldn’t he have let us bask in a fake security blanket for a little longer? For the last few months, I told myself that the hand was never there. It was dark that night, and we had been drinking—I wasn’t drunk—and emotions ran high in situations like that, so our minds conjured up stuff.

It all seemed so reasonable and plausible that I started believing the lie. Grayson’s assurances a moment ago had begun to work. I looked into his eyes and saw the truth he wanted to believe, so I let myself feel it, too.

Cruz had seen a bag, and that was terrifying compared to what we thought we saw.

“He’s right,” I whispered. “We can no longer avoid this.”

Before any of us could say more, all our phones pinged at the same time.

Dread spread through my veins. I felt the blood drain through my face, and my heart skipped a couple of beats. I couldsee my surroundings, how Micah began to have a panic attack next to me. I watched Grayson put one hand on his shoulder while he stood over him, talking. I could see his lips moving, but not the words.

My eyes moved over them, trying to understand what they were discussing. In all of this, I realized I could not breathe.

“Ava!”

My hearing came back to me, but it was distant.

“You’re okay, baby. Take a deep breath.”

If breathing was so easy, why would my body forget how to do it?

“That’s it. Inhale. Exhale.”

That went on for a few more seconds until it felt like someone had pressed unmute around me, and now I could feel every little thing.

Micah’s constant tapping of his foot. Grayson’s ragged breathing, and now my gasping for air.

“Are you with us?”

It was asked beside me.

How incredibly selfish was I that I let others focus on my panic while they were going through their own?

I reached out and took one of Micah’s hands in my own.

“I’m okay. Are you?”

Micah squeezed my hand, giving me some of his warmth. At that moment, I felt instantly better. I wondered how I could have let us drift apart when we had always needed one another.

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