Page 54 of It Was Always You

She nodded and slowly met my gaze. "I know. I've noticed how much you've mellowed out since last year, even more so the last couple of months."

"You have?" She had watched me that closely?

She seemed to grow uncomfortable and adjusted her glasses. "I notice a lot of things about you, Noah."

She did? My throat grew thick, and I suddenly found myself wanting to tell her more. "M-my stepdad is the real reason I got kicked out. I got in his way when I thought he was about to hurt my mom, and he punched me."

She gasped. "He punched you?"

I nodded. "And it wasn't the first time, either."

Fear and shock filled her eyes. "You can't go back there, Noah."

My heart squeezed in my chest. "I don't want to." I flexed my jaw. "But I have to watch out for my mom and my sister. My mom thinks Paul will calm down, but I'm not so sure. He goes through phases."

"Why doesn't your mom leave him?"

I leaned my head back against the high headrest, letting my eyes fall closed for a moment before meeting her worried gaze. "She tried, once."

Lexi waited for me to say more, so I continued, "Lastfall, he was on one. My mom got beat up pretty bad. I was just coming in from a party when it was going on. They were in the kitchen, dishes were smashed all over the floor. And then when I tried to stop him, he went nuts. My mom and Brielle were able to get out of the house, and then I followed them. We went to the women's shelter, but I wasn't allowed to stay since I'm too old and other women see me as a threat because I'm a guy."

"Is that why you said this wasn't your first time sleeping in your car?" she asked, probably putting all the puzzle pieces together.

I nodded. And just because I didn't want her to find out from someone else, I said, "Your family was out of town that weekend, so I went to Ashlyn's house that first night. But then, yeah, I stayed in my car for the next few days."

She rubbed her arm and raised her eyebrows as if trying to get up some courage to say something about that. Was she going to kick me out for being in the habit of sneaking into girls’ rooms?

I was about to tell her that I'd only done it out of desperation when she finally spoke up and said, "So I'm not the first girl whose room you've snuck into?"

Was I a terrible person because I liked the hint of jealousy in her voice?

"Ashlyn even let me sleep in her bed." Yeah, I couldn't help myself with that one.

Lexi gasped and scooted back, like my words had burned her. "I thought you said you didn't do that with her..."

Shewasjealous. And maybe I'd pushed a little too hard with my last comment.

"Ashlyn slept in her chair that night. I literally fell asleep as she was bandaging me up."

"Don't tell me she gave you ice, too? I thought that wasour thing." She smiled, and I was happy she wasn't too put off by me spending one night at my ex-girlfriend's house.

"I tend to need ice a lot in my life." I shrugged. "Hazard of being Noah Taylor, I guess."

"So why did your mom go back if he treats her that badly? Why doesn't she press charges?" Then realization dawned on her face. "That's what you meant by 'not pressing charges' when I overheard you, huh?"

"Yeah." I looked at her solemnly. "I don't get it. He treats her terribly, but she's scared to leave him." I drew in a shaky breath. "I'm worried that one of these days, I'll come home and find she stayed one fight too long." I turned my head to the side, trying to ward off the tears that pricked behind my eyes. I would not lose it in front of Lexi. I would not be a wimp.

But I couldn't help but be scared for my mom. She was a good mom: loving, caring, smart, and fun. She was just brainwashed into thinking she needed Paul for some reason. And I blamed that on my dad. If my dad hadn'tbetrayed her— If he hadn't left us for a younger woman, my mom wouldn't have gotten it in her head that she was lucky to have any man at all. She would know that she was worth so much more than what the men in her life had been giving her.

My lip trembled, and I wiped at the tear threatening to leak out my eye. My voice wobbled when I spoke, "I just wish she knew what she was worth."

Lexi's eyes filled with compassion, and before I knew what was happening, she moved closer to me and tentatively touched my shoulder. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this Noah. It isn't fair."

She looked at her hand and seemed to get embarrassed for touching me, so she removed it. I felt cold when she did that. Like she was rejecting me.

Awkwardness permeated the room as we had a hard time meeting each other's gazes. What was going on between us? We'd been fine holding hands this morning as we walked into school. Why could we only touch when other people were around? Had that practice kiss really scared her off from me?

She tucked some hair behind her ears. "I want to tell you to go home and watch out for your mom and sister, but I also don't want you to be in danger."

---