Page 30 of It Was Always You

"What kind of a guy are you trying to be then?"

We made it to the bottom of the stairs. He looked around. There were still a few people milling around the basketball court, but they didn't seem to be paying any attention to us.

"I'm just trying to be a good guy," Noah said. Then he leaned in closer and spoke into my hair, causing shivers to go down my spine. "And a good boyfriend."

He pulled back, his mouth spread into a huge smile. I wanted to shove him but didn't, because he actually seemed to like it when I whacked him. So instead I matched his smile and tried not to look like I really wanted his words to be true. "Well, I guess you better takeme home then,Boyfriend, because I still have all that homework to do."

"Then let's go." He held his hand out to me.

I stared. He wanted to hold hands?

My heartbeat spiked. I'd never held a guy's hand before. What if I did it completely wrong? What if he could tell that I had no idea what I was doing?

"I promise that I wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom," he joked.

I laughed awkwardly. Why was I so awkward? "It's not that."

Just grab his hand, Lexi. Put your trembling little hand into his big, strong, manly-looking hand.

It was just there, reaching out to me like it was the most normal thing in the world. At least it probably looked normal to everyone around me who actually knew a thing or two about hand-holding. But I wasn't one of those girls. I'd never seen people holding hands much in real life since my mom had left when I was little, and my siblings had never dared bring anyone around my dad.

Was I supposed to just slap my hand on his and give it a squeeze? Or was he expecting me to do that interlocking-fingers thing?

My palms started to sweat, which was just the worst timing. I didn't want him to think I was this gross, sweaty girl.

This was ridiculous. I was sixteen years old. I should be able to hold a guy's hand without analyzing it to death.

I released a big breath and decided the truth was probably the best in this situation. I forced myself to meet his gaze. His brown eyes were a lot less certain now than they had been a moment before. "I-I, um, think you should know that I've never actually held a guy's hand before and..." I let my voice drift off, not knowing what else to say. This was so humiliating.

"And you want it to be special? To mean something?"

Sure I'd go with that. That would be much less embarrassing than having him think that I just didn't know what I was doing.

He ran his hand through his shaggy hair. "I don't think I've ever been shut down like this before."

My throat constricted. I hurried to say, "I'm not shutting you down, Noah."I'm such a loser.

"But what about those guidelines we set yesterday? I thought hand-holding and cuddling were on the ‘ok to do’ list."

He was right. I’d been naive enough to think that I could handle doing those things with Noah. "Yeah, they’re on the list." I looked down at my boots. "I guess I just want you to know how inexperienced I am, so you can help me not look so awkward in front of everyone."

Instead of laughing at me, he stepped closer and puthis hands on my shoulders. "I promise to handle you with care and make sure you look good."

I slowly lifted my gaze to meet his again, and there was only understanding in his eyes. "Okay," I breathed.

He dropped his hands from my shoulders. "So, Lexi Stevens, will you do me the greatest honor of letting me walk you to my car?" He held his hand out to me once more.

My lips slowly turned up into a smile. "I would like that." And I did the bravest thing I'd done in a long time and slid my hand into his. His hand was warm and rough, but it also felt really nice. Like our hands were meant to be together always.

When Noah curled his fingers around mine, electricity traveled up my arm. I would have floated away if he hadn't been tethering me to the ground. And though part of me knew I should have wanted my first hand-holding experience to be real, and actually mean something, the other part of me was ecstatic that I was holding Noah Taylor's hand. His grip was steady and strong, and he knew what he was doing so I didn't have to worry as much as I thought I would.

As he led me through the crowd of students on the gym floor, a few eyes flicker to us. And then just before we made it to the back exit, I saw Raven and the sour expression on her face.

"Don't look now, but I'm pretty sure Raven wants to strangle me," I said.

Noah searched the crowd for a moment until his gaze landed on Raven. She immediately turned her scowl into a too-sweet smile and waved flirtatiously at him.

"She might," he said, shooting a smile in her direction. "And since that's what we're going for, I might have to hold your hand more often."

---