Page 51 of The Ruse

And suddenly, I was the one in the hot seat.

I looked away, not wanting to answer her question.

“Come on.” She touched my arm. “I just told you a lot about myself and what I’m into when it comes to guys. It’s only fair that you tell me why you kissed me back.”

She had a point. She had told me some personal things. It was only fair that I reveal something about myself.

It wasn’t like this would be the most revealing secret I had to tell.

I looked at her hand on my arm then lifted my gaze to meet hers, hoping she wouldn’t know how much I craved the touch of another human. Then I swallowed and said, “I guess I thought you knew it was me, and I figured I might as well see how it felt to kiss someone new after so long.”

“Oh.” She removed her hand from my arm as if burned. “I didn’t realize that was your first kiss since…” She drifted off like she didn’t want to say the name of the ex I was supposed to be mourning.

“Yeah,” I said, my voice huskier than usual. “It was the first time in a while.”

“I guess I should probably say sorry then, huh?” she whispered, guilt reflected in her eyes. “I was only thinking about how it affected me and didn’t even consider how it was for you.”

“It’s okay,” I said, searching her eyes so she’d know I was sincere. “I could have stepped away if I didn’t want it.”

Her gaze darted back and forth, like she was wondering what I meant by my words. And then, I realized how it had sounded.

It sounded like I’d wanted that kiss in a way that was specific to her.

And while I hadn’t necessarily been searching for it initially, Ihadwanted to kiss her in that moment—if only to see if I could still feel something for someone after being emotionally stunted for so long.

Turns out, I did still have those types of desires buried deep within me.

But since I didn’t want her to worry that I had a secret crush on her or anything, I said, “What I mean is, I could have stepped away from the kiss if I wasn’t up to it.”

“Okay, good,” she said slowly. “I just want to make sure I didn’t stir up uncomfortable feelings.”

I wanted to tell her that her worries over making me miss the relationship I’d had with Bailee were unnecessary, because it hadn’t been the romantic connection she thought it was.

But I still needed to live by my lie, so I simply said, “I’m fine.” And since I’d had enough vulnerability for one conversation, I added, “If anything, I’m just a little dumbfounded that you would only want to be friends with someone who’s as good of a kisser as you say I am.”

“Okay…” She chuckled and shook her head. “Now I really know you’re going to be fine.”

16

ASHER

Elyseand I kept the conversation lighthearted for the rest of lunch, which was nice. After we threw our paper plates and empty water bottles into the trash, Miss Crawley called everyone into the main living area to give us instructions for our next activity. We were supposed to pick a buddy and go on a scavenger hunt in the woods outside of the cabin.

We had two hours to get a photo of everything on the list, but the first people back would be the winners.

While Miss Crawley explained a few of the rules that I already knew from last year’s scavenger hunt, I turned to Elyse and asked, “Wanna be my buddy?”

“Sure,” she said with a shrug.

“Good choice,” I said with a smile. “Because I’m the reigning scavenger hunt champion from last year and you’d hate to be pitted against me.”

She laughed. “Good thing you asked me then, because I’m also an expert at scavenger hunting.”

We took one of the printed scavenger hunt lists that Miss Crawley had set on the coffee table, and then after grabbing our coats, scarves, and gloves, we headed outside.

“What’s the first thing on the list?” I asked Elyse when we’d made it to the landing just outside of the cabin. The afternoon sun was high in the sky and reflecting off the snow in just the right way to make me wish I’d brought my sunglasses.

“It’s a pinecone,” she said, looking back at me with her eyes squinted against the sun. “But we don’t have to go in order, right? Wouldn’t it be faster to just keep our eyes open for everything?”

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