Page 155 of On Wings of Blood

Instantly, I knew I’d said the wrong thing.

Regan narrowed her eyes at me. “Why are you even still here,bitch? You play at being one of us. Always trying to get Blake’s attention. It’s pathetic. Things were better between us when you weren’t here.”

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my temper in check. “Fine. I take it that’s a ‘no.’ But there’s still time for you to change your mind. Think about it. We don’t have to like each other to work together.”

I turned and walked back to the table before she could say anything else.

I sank back down on the bench across from Naveen.

“You know, Naveen,” I said slowly. “Sometimes I think this place might actually be growing on me.”

He smiled sympathetically. “And then?”

“And then I have to talk to highbloods.”

I looked around the refectory, at the blazing fires, the greenery on the walls, the chattering students. “I mean, if I’m being honest... I love Bloodwing more than I would have thought possible. But being around all of these vampires...” I shook my head, my mind going back to the terrifying encounter I’d had with the highblood man at the brothel. To the moment Visha had shoved dirt in my face and shown me her knife. “I don’t know. Doesn’t it just make you feelweaksometimes? Powerless? Gretchen was right. We’ll never fit in. We’re not meant to.”

I half-expected Naveen to wave the highblood flag of loyalty like Florence usually did.

But instead he nodded. “All the time. Sometimes I think I made a mistake in coming here. Even if it was for a good reason.”

“Was it just because of Florence?” I asked, curious. “Or do you really want to be a scout?”

“It was mostly for Florence,” he admitted. “I could have stayed at home and been a scout for my own people. Dwarfs are blightborn, yes. But highbloods mostly leave us alone.”

“You could still leave,” I said. “No one would judge you. Well, I wouldn’t. I’m sure Florence wouldn’t either.”

He shook his head. “You can’t leave once you’ve been accepted. I mean, it’s not like I really had a choice once I got the letter, even if my girlfriend thought I did. They would probably have come for me, even if I’d tried to refuse.”

“They must have thought you had a lot of potential then,” I said, trying to be optimistic. “If they wanted you that bad.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But they make mistakes, too. That’s why so many First Years wind up getting kicked out. It’s a make us orbreak us thing, the first year here. And sometimes I don’t know if I’m going to make it.”

I looked at him in surprise, suddenly wishing I hadn’t brought up this subject. “Of course you are, Naveen. Look at you, you’re doing great. You have a solo in the ensemble. A highblood isjealousof you. Jealous of a blightborn!”

“Maybe that should make me feel great. But honestly, I kind of wish they’d given the solo to Larissa,” he said darkly.

“You don’t really mean that,” I said, shocked. “What would Florence say?”

“Florence is going to make it through the academy and be a brilliant highblood prize. She will always fight for them, Medra. No matter what she sometimes says. She looks up to them and always will.” Naveen dropped his voice and leaned closer. “If she’d been in your position, she’d have been thrilled.”

“What do you mean?” I shifted on the bench, suddenly uncomfortable.

“I mean she’d love to be a consort,” he said sadly. “I’m sure of it. She wouldn’t want someone like me. She has too much ambition for that.”

“You could become a brilliant scout,” I said loyally. “Like Professor Stonefist. For all I know I’m sitting across from the next Grimblade.”

He gave me a wry smile. “Sure. But I doubt it.”

“Don’t be so sure, Naveen. You probably didn’t think you were going to get into the Bloodwing Ensemble. Or get that flute solo,” I said, suddenly losing my temper with him a bit. “But you did.Have some confidence in yourself. If you want to win Florence’s heart, I promise you, that’ll help more than anything else.”

He studied me. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I am,” I said resolutely.

I knew I was right. I was pathetically, pitifully right. I knew that from personal experience. Confidence was attractive. And arrogance? Well, it turned out sometimes that was even better.

Hating someone didn’t mean you could take your eyes off them. Which was why I couldn’t take my eyes off Blake Drakharrow even though I knew what an asshole he was. He was the walking, talking embodiment of highblood haughtiness. And I was the pathetic girl who’d been secretly sneaking glances at him this entire time.

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