Page 32 of Line of Resistance

“How long have you been out here?” Nate shifted around again, angling his body awkwardly as he once again attempted to find a comfortable position.

“A few hours.” She hugged the large bag containing food, water, flashlights, and other random survival tools a little closer, trying to make it as small as possible. She needed to find as much room as she could because the man beside her was huge. He took up all the space and all the air, making it hard to breathe and impossible to think.

“What are you doing all the way out here?”

Nate was just full of questions tonight. Like he didn’t realize how difficult it was for her to think. To focus. No matter how hard she tried, her brain just kept circling back to remind her he was right next to her. Big and warm and dangerous. To add another layer of distraction, the inside of her SUV now smelled like him. Clean and masculine and a little like the woods she used to camp in.

It was irritating. All of it. His questions. His presence. His scent. Every bit of it had her unfocused and on edge.

“Is this an interrogation?” Eloise lifted her chin. “Because last time I checked, you didn’t seem too interested in being in my business.”

Nate’s head dropped, chin tucking close to his chest. “I deserve that.”

The annoyance biting at her heels flared hot and ready, standing front and center, begging to be unleashed. She’d been so nice for so long. Agreeable and sweet and happy and excited. Everything that would make her easy to be around. The kind of friend everyone would want to have.

But Nate wasn’t her friend and he clearly didn’t want her around. So what would it hurt if he discovered she was less than the perfect image she portrayed?

Nothing. That’s what.

“You’re right. You deserve that and lots more. You’ve been kind of an asshole to me.” It was a word she hadn’t said in years, and it felt amazing rolling off her tongue.

She used to love to cuss. It was one of her favorite pastimes. A hobby she shared with her father. And they both excelled at it.

Unfortunately, having a mouth like a sailor didn’t combine well with her desired career path, so she’d had to come up with an alternative. Cut it out completely. Go cold turkey. And she had. Convincing herself she didn’t miss it.

But now that the seal had been broken, there was a sea of words ready to rush free.

“You pretended to like me and then completely blew me off. It was bullshit and a fucking dick move.” The cussing dam wasn’t the only one that failed, and suddenly all sorts of confessions came spewing out. “I really liked you. I thought you were nice. I thought you were interesting. I thought you were funny and handsome and sweet. But it was all bullshit. You’re just a fuck boy who likes to play with women’s emotions to prove you can.”

The second the words were out of her mouth she regretted them. Not because they weren’t true, they were.

They were also going to make however long she was stranded with Nate highly uncomfortable, and she worked hard to avoid being uncomfortable.

It was part of the reason she was so agreeable. No one ever had anything bad to say about her. No one put her in awkward positions or made her feel bad about herself. And everyone wanted to keep her around. She was easy to be with. Comfortable.

For someone who had no one, feeling like you wouldn’t lose the people you gained was important. And after spending too many years being lonely and isolated, she was willing to do whatever it took to avoid feeling like that again.

Except, apparently, keeping her mouth shut when Nate provoked her.

“I know.” His immediate admission was shocking. “I’ve sent you a lot of mixed signals and I’m really sorry.”

Eloise opened her mouth, ready to continue telling him how awful he was, but something completely different came out. “Oh.” She wanted to be angry. Wanted to continue lashing out, but Nate’s ownership of his bad behavior took a little of the wind out of her sails. “Okay.”

He shook his head. “It’s far from okay.” Nate’s eyes lifted to hers, oddly serious. “But I wasn’t pretending.”

Her stomach did a little flip, like it hadn’t listened to any of the past five minutes of conversation. “What?”

“I wasn’t pretending that I liked you.” Nate’s voice was a little bit lower. A little bit softer. Deep in a way that snaked down her spine and swirled through her belly, threatening to drop lower.

But what he was saying didn’t make sense. “Then why would you keep disappearing like you did? You canceled the date you asked me on at the Christmas party before dropping off the face of the Earth. Then you showed up at the ballet, threw Matt out on his ass, told me you still wanted to kiss me, and then I didn’t hear from youagain.”

Nate raked one hand through his hair, messing up the careful lines of the style it was always perfectly gelled into. “It’s complicated.”

Eloise laughed, but the sound was bitter and harsh. She wasn’t letting him off that easily. “Everything’s complicated.”

Nate sucked in a breath, blowing it back out as his head tipped back to rest against the back of the front seat. “I just knew if things didn’t work out between us it would be awkward.”

That was it? That was why he kept flaking out? “Weird.”

---