Page 51 of The Lottery

With that I shove him against the wall, exorcising a final burst of aggression, and extend my arm for Azalea. No matter who her partner is, I am still permitted to take this opportunity to show Buddy how real men behave.

We walk back toward the lift.

With her fingers wrapped around my forearm, nothing matters. Not Buddy, not Robert, not even the ship. She and I are descending together into a new world. Try as I might, I can no longer live in denial. Earth, Mars, or another solar system entirely—Azalea is the center of my universe, and without her I will break apart.

15

ZAE

“Mars has been flown by, orbited, smacked into, radar examined, and rocketed onto, as well as bounced upon, rolled over, shoveled, drilled into, baked and even blasted. Still to come: Mars being stepped on.”

—Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut

* * *

The sharp slap of my palm across Buddy Fischer’s face happens faster than either of us are prepared for. The sound of it silences us both. He staggers back, more from shock than the impact of my hit, I’m sure.

My palm stings and my wrist aches, but I don’t regret it for a minute.

This drunk piece of shit thought grabbing my ass would somehow entice me to, what, sleep him with? Instead he got what I’m sure he’s deserved from every woman he’s ever met.

I’m usually not quick to hit, but the look on Buddy’s face after the unwelcome grope brought it out of me. It’s also fair to say I had a little pent-up emotion that I let out when I let my arm fly.

Buddy grabs his cheek as I hold my right hand in my left, massaging the ache out of my fingers. He stares back at me, an anger in his eyes that makes me a little nervous. The combination of liquored up, entitled, and spurned is never a good mix.

I know in my gut what’s coming.

But I’ve got enough rage of my own to turn my panic into something Buddy does not want to fuck with.

I’m already planning my defense with a hard kick to the balls when I hear footsteps approach.

We both turn at the sound, and then the first and last person I want to see steps around the corner.

I came to the bathroom to get away from Marek and all the feelings I couldn’t control. I went from thinking he had a beautiful girlfriend to being locked in a dance I never wanted to end. After all these weeks spent fighting the urge to be with him, that need is back and stronger than ever.

I ran away from him to collect myself, but here he is again, and I am once more undone.

My complicated feelings are paired with a strong sense of relief that I am no longer alone with Buddy Fischer. That I have someone to help me deal with this piece of shit.

Marek asks a question that I’m still trying to process when suddenly he’s got Buddy pinned against the wall. Whereas my assailant looked threatening a moment ago, he now looks pathetic and outmatched. His face contorts in pain as Marek twists his arm harder. I’m starting to enjoy the show, then feel enraged all over again when Buddy claims the whole thing was a little slip of the hand.

I walk over to him, getting in his face, not entirely sure what I’m going to do…

Then I spit in his ugly mouth.

He looks back at me, stunned.

Marek wears a similar expression, but also looks a little impressed.

I’m mostly surprised at how good it felt.

“Stay the hell away from me,” I say with finality.

Marek doesn’t release Buddy, and I’m starting to think he’s going to lean into the man until his rotator cuff shreds, but then we’re interrupted by the bodiless voice of Metis.

“The ship is fifteen minutes from entering the exosphere of Mars. Non-crew passengers are asked to gather on level four to view the ship’s arrival.”

Oh my God.

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