Page 25 of The Lottery

“The man,” Lana says, waving her fake cigarette around. “The leader, the one who made all this—”

I suck in a breath and breathe his name out on the exhale. “Marek.”

“Yes, that is the one,” she says with a smile. “The woman he was paired with, she never made it. Rumors say she died trying to get to the ship.”

That explains why Metis said he was alone.

“C’est horrible, non?” Lana says. “He put this entire thing together and now he’s alone—forever. C’est tres triste.” She shakes her head sadly and my heart breaks with every word.

This revelation is a gut punch. It means that when he was saving my life, he had just recently learned of the other life lost. The irony of it is crushing. It makes me want to comfort him. Apologize, even.

I think of our conversation when he brought me the pot. How he took my criticism without defensiveness, but without apology either. He didn’t like doing what he did, but he knew it was the only way to get results… according to him.

When he said this, when we spoke, he knew then he would be the only person in The Lottery unmatched.

Alone.

The more I get to know of him, the harder it is to hate him.

8

MAREK

“There is every reason to think that in the coming years Mars and its mysteries will become increasingly familiar to the inhabitants of the Planet Earth.”

—Carl Sagan, Astronomer

* * *

My irritation flares as I step onto the lift and watch Azalea limp away on her crutch. I had hoped to join her for lunch, but I brush aside the disappointment. As much as I crave more time with the beautiful botanist, this interruption reminds me once again that my place is not by her side.

Elspeth greets me with a nod when I arrive at the bridge. “Give me a status update on the ship,” she says.

Before I can even begin to tell her about the latest energy readings and analysis from Metis, Elspeth shakes her head impatiently. “I’m not talking about the actual ship. I know all about this flying metal bucket. It’s the crew and passengers that are the future of humanity. That’s what I want to know about.”

It is quiet for a moment as I struggle to think of how to answer. “The people are… alive. All within healthy ranges for the various biological levels. There have been no altercations or hostile interactions.”

Based on her silent stare as response, I do not think this is what she means either.

She shakes her head and chuckles. “Not your area, eh? That’s alright. We all have our strengths.” She narrows her eyes, a slight grin on her face. “But you… something is a bit off about you, Mr. Volkav.”

I do not normally feel nervous, so I’m not sure how to combat the feeling. My palms itch and beads of perspiration form on my forehead. What am I to say? Certainly not the truth, that I am distracted beyond reason by the woman I saved during launch? That I am unable to concentrate because she is all I can think about? I cannot speak these things out loud. I should not even be thinking them at all.

I settle for a partial truth. “I am just adjusting to life in a spaceship, like everyone else. It is a big change for those of us who have not spent a lifetime in the air.”

She grins at that, and her gaze wanders, unfocusing. I know from past experience that she is lost in a memory of long ago.

“Was this the reason you summoned me?” I ask. “No other issues with the voyage?”

“No, that was all,” she replies as her mind returns to our conversation. “I hope I didn’t take you away from anything important.”

“Not at all,” I say through tight lips, delivering the biggest lie of the night.

I leave Elspeth and the bridge to seek refuge in my room, where I can focus on our survival and forget everything else.

* * *

I do not get my wish. That brief conversation buzzes around in my head like a swarm of irritated bees for the next few days. I do my best to avoid where I think Azalea might be, in hopes it will help me purge her from my mind and heart. I need to focus on work. On the ship. On getting us to Mars--though that specifically is not my job. Elspeth has our travel under control. She and her crew know what they are doing, insofar as anyone can under these circumstances. My job is to make sure we have something waiting for us once we are there.

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