Page 111 of The Lottery

He’s out there, waiting to be found.

He needs me to find him.

I’ll bring him home to be with me, together as we were always meant to be.

Now and forever.

I hear his voice in my head like he’s right beside me, and tears sting in my eyes knowing that’s not the case.

“Zae, please.” Astrid’s voice cracks with emotion as I reach the door and pull it open.

The blast of cold pushes me backward.

Outside it is pure white, snowflakes whipping in the wind and shrouding everything from view. I can’t see more than ten feet in front of me.

“The search pulled back,” Declan says. “We can’t see anything, but we’ll be out again as soon as the blizzard passes. It shouldn’t be too long.”

I hear his words, stare into the snow…

“Azalea, don’t!”

“We have to find him!” I yell, my words swallowed by the wind as I step into the snow, frigid air stabbing my face and hands. My bare feet instantly turning to blocks of ice. The powder goes up to my knees, but I trudge through, walking toward where I think the trucks might be.

“Marek!”

I call out his name so he knows I’m coming.

I call it out as a plea to the heavens.

I call it out just to hear the word.

After I call it, I collapse.

* * *

When I wake, I’m in my bed. Memories flood back more quickly this time. I picture my strong, beautiful Marek stepping between me and the bear, then disappearing over the edge of a cliff. The image plays in my mind on repeat, as my brain tries to fabricate a new ending.

The bear runs off, leaving us alone.

Or it turns back to find Buddy’s remains.

Or it kills me instead.

“How’s your pain?” Doctor McCoy asks from my bedside, watching as tears leak out the corners of my eyes and wet my bedsheets.

Marek’s bedsheets.

“You have a concussion, Azalea,” the doctor says. “I’m going to keep you medicated for the pain, and I want you to stay in your bed until you heal up a little.”

“I have to find him,” I whisper.

Astrid comes over to the bed and takes my hand. “The snow is letting up. Declan’s preparing the trucks. He’ll go look as soon as it’s clear, and then we’ll take you once you’re well enough.”

“We don’t have time,” I say, a sob catching in my throat. “He’s alone in a storm, we need to be out there, he needs us now!”

I start to lean forward but feel Astrid’s hand push against my chest.

“Zae, you know that’s not what Marek would want. He can survive the cold better than any of us, and he’d be pissed off if someone got hurt trying to find him when it wasn’t safe.”

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