Page 88 of Crush

We’d argued about Daddy loads when we were forced to move houses. Almost like Zander was jealous of my father which reminded me of that one time when he’d asked me to call him Daddy. I’d seen it as a bit of sexy fun, butnow I understood exactly what that meant and it wasn’t a kink I craved. I found ‘Daddy’ kinksrevoltingand twisted.

When I didn’t answer he brought out the big guns.

“Look, just give me a chance to explain. You owe me that much.”

“Go on then, explain,” I said with a raised hand to encourage him to spill his bullshit. There was no way he could justify what he had done. He’d been the adult—I was the teenager.

His expression darkened as he shot a glance around the area, “Not here out in the open, somewhere quiet. There’s a coffee shop around the corner. I want you to come with me,” Zander stated in a lofty voice, holding out his hand, expecting me to take it. The whole conversation was messed up.

His expression said that he expected to be obeyed as I warily eyed his hand. No please, nothing in his tone to sugarcoat the offer or to entice me to go with him. It was as base as always; Zander would say jump and I would ask how high. Well, not anymore.

“It’s beenyearsZander, almost six. We’re strangers now. I don’t owe you anything.” The arsehole still thought he could control my life.

Zander’s jaw jutted forward with irritation, a look I remembered well. “I don’t see you as a stranger, freckles. I’ve kept an eye on you over the years. I didn’t just walk away, even inside.”

And that was pretty much the final nail in the coffin. “You’ve had mewatched?”

Puffing a breath, Zander replied, “Yes, but not in a creepy way. I just wanted to make sure you were OK. I know you struggled at first. I hated that I couldn’t get to you, hold you. Make all the lies they said go away. Give me a chance, Amber; to put things right.”

Shaking my head, I responded, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Zander,” I was pleased that I was managing to stand my ground. Max would be proud.

Max! His perfect face swam into my head and at that moment, I wished he were there, surrounding me with his strength.

“Please, Amber. I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t think we haveanythingto talk about Zander. What you did, whatwedid was wrong. I get that now.”

“How was it wrong?”

I didn’t dress it up, “You had sex with me when I was underage.”

His face scrunched up and he looked confused and there was a beat of silence before he replied with an ashen face, “It wasmorethan that and youknowit. And you were almost sixteen; a mature sixteen I might add. Surely you haven’t forgotten what we did for your sweet sixteenth?” His voice thickened, and I could see from his expression that he was reliving that night. It had been a mixture of special and sweet before it had turned into something else much darker.

My stomach rolled and I suddenly felt sick. “It’s in the past now and that’s where we should leave it.”

Zander jabbed a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated, “That’snotwhat you want.”

My heart started to thunder in my chest. “You see that’s where you’re wrong, Zander. You don’t get to tell me what I want anymore,”

Zander growled under his breath and then attempted to reason with me again, “Look, you grew up strong and I like that but please, at least walk with me for a while.”

That little girl inside me wanted to walk with him but as I thought about my options, I knew I needed to leave. Zander was a master manipulator and would get in my head if I let him.

“Look, my driver is waiting. I am happy for you that you’re out of prison and can rebuild your life, but I am no longer part of that now. Too much time has passed, andI’m different. We both are. Just leave it. It’s better this way, find someone who can give you what you want.”

“You’rewhat I want,” he mewled. It was an odd sound, I had never heard his voice so flat.

“No, it’s over.”

It was like watching someone insert a pin in a balloon and it slowly deflating rather than bursting, his shoulders dropped and his face contorted with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

Ihatedto be the one who had caused that look but what could I do, “Goodbye, Zander.”

Zander caught my arm, “Wait, we’re not done.”

His touch was like an electric shock and I glared at his grip on my wrist.

As my eyes narrowed, I trained my gaze upwards and he released me and held his hands up. “I’ve thought aboutnothingbut you for years. And I know what happened between us was unusual but when you know you know. I loved you; Istilllove you, Amber,” Zander confessed, dropping his hands helplessly to his sides. I found it interesting that he called me by my name, something he rarely did.

---