Page 87 of Crush

Luckily, his next words, slapped me back to the present and the stirring of the anger I’d kept deep down started to resurface.

“It’s been torture, me trapped in there and you out here. You must have missed me. Missed us?” He gestured between our bodies with his hand.

“Us? A very fucked up us,” I pointed out in a firmer voice than I thought I was capable of.

“How can you say that? Yes, there was an age difference but who gives a shit about that in the face of what we shared?”

My lips twisted and I braved a glance at Dexter. Shared? That one was rich. God, how clueless I’d been back then.

Not allowing myself to be lured into his trap, I questioned, “What are you doing here Zander?” Tilting my chin to stare up into his fathomless face.

“I’m here to see you.” He pulled a face, his steely eyes drilled into mine.

I folded my arms over my chest and glared up at him with a curious expression, “Why?”

“You know why and don’t do that. You know I hate that,” Zander said stepping forward into my space, his hands peeling my arms from that position. Of course, he had always hated defensive body language.

I tugged my hands from his and cast another glance toward Dexter. He looked poised to climb out of the car and I shook my head, signalling for him to stay put.

“I wouldn’t touch me if I were you. Dexter won’t be happy about it,” I explained with a flick of my head. Zander didn’t look impressed but he took a step back.

“I take it Dexter is your latest fucking guard dog?”

“Just tell me what you want and then go, Zander.”

Another silence and then the wind flared, stinging my cheeks.

My mouth snapped shut. He was being evasive on purpose. This was one of his tactics to fool me into saying or admitting something I didn’t want to. Up to his old tricks again, but this time I saw right through him.

“Zander?” I prompted, smoothing down my hair.

“You know what I want, Amber. The same thing I always have. You.”

Once those words left his mouth, genuine repulsion kicked in. The way he was looking at me suggested he’d thought we could pick up where we left off which was insane. My pulse doubled in speed. I had no way of knowing what he’d gone through in prison. There was a good chance that the man before me today was even more unhinged than his past self.

“What you’re saying is ridiculous?” I said, the grooves in my frown was almost painful.

“Is it? I know we haven’t seen each other for a while, but I still care about you. Prison didn’t change that.”

“No, but life outside of it changed me. I am not the same person I was back then.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say?” Zander volleyed back with a slight, awkward smile and in that moment, I saw a flash of vulnerability and it tugged on my heartstrings.

Fuck!

He must have seen me weaken as he hastily added, “Please Amber, just come with me. There is stuff I need to say. Bring the dog if it makes you feel better. You know I’d never hurt you.”

“That’s not how I remember it.”

His expression became pained, “I made mistakes, thatnevershould have happened but I wasn’t well at the time. I told you that.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Yes, I remember. But what we both did also hurt others.”

“Like who?”

“My father,” I replied, rubbing the back of my neck.

This caused Zander to snort and shift moodily from one foot to the other. “He’d never given a shit about you before I came along,” Zander sneered, rolling his shoulders. He appeared so much broader and had put on some weight but his muscles still looked like they were sculptured from hours spent in the gym.

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