Page 41 of Agent vs. Assassin

I grunt. “I’m biting my tongue right now, just so you know. What’s your take on the new guy so far?”

“I told you, I like Dave Taylor. He’s a temporary placement right now, though, so we’ll have time to test what seems to be an honorable record.”

“Have you ever heard about putting an avocado in a paper bag to ripen it?”

“Why are we talking about avocados?” He holds up a hand. “Don’t answer. I got it. Because it’s you. Yeah. I have. It works damn well, but you have to be careful, or it gets too soft too fast.”

“And rotten to the core. It happens fast. Don’t ever forget that, big brother, especially when you’re headed into the garden of rotten, which is all things Dad and Pocher. Take me to your avocado.”

He laughs. “Should we call him Mr. Avocado?”

“Better than Mr. Potato Head. And you do need to know a few things I’d rather you hand out with discretion. You, not me. This Taylor dude needs to earn trust.” I update Andrew on Ellis, Adams, and election night.

“I heard about election night,” he says.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s going to make my little town into a zoo, but it won’t be the first time. We know how to manage it. What doyouthink?”

“Feels like our turf. I think I like it.”

“Any updates on Ghost?” he asks.

“We want what he wants. Elsa. We’re going to help him get her in a big way. And quite possibly piss her off in the process.”

“So you said. Should I prepare the new guy?”

“Nope. Let’s see how he rolls.”

“Should we check on Kane?”

“Kane doesn’t need a babysitter, but the new guy might. Let’s get this over with. The sooner we get the word out, the sooner we get our bait set, and I’m too tired to stab a bitch tonight. I will, but I’d enjoy it more later. I need sleep.”

“Yes to all of the above. Sleep won’t make you have a winning personality, but it makes you less of a bitch, so I’m all for it.” He motions me forward, and as we walk, we pass several of his deputies who wave at me. They like me or they fear me. Either way works for me.

We’re almost to the edge of the building, about to step into the heat of the press’s attention, when a tall, good-looking man with wavy brown hair steps in front of us. He’s in uniform, butnot the local gear, and when his blue eyes land on mine, I know he’s not only the new chief; he’s not my friend.

“You’re the new acting chief in town,” I say, making sure that “acting” is emphasized.

“I could have sworn that was you,” he retorts dryly, with a distinct southern accent, “since you’re always taking over. I’m not your brother. That shit won’t fly with me.”

“You’re out of line,” Andrew snaps.

“You’re also not in charge if I claim jurisdiction,” I say, “which I’m about to do for all the world to see.”

“Who and what gives you that right?”

“My purdy badge,” I say all sugar sweet, in my best southern accent, which is pretty good if I might say so myself. “You ever heard the one about the southern boy who rushed into a bar all pissed off? ‘Who painted my horse’s balls red?’ he declared.” I act it out. I’m enjoying this. “A big ol’ biker dude, who might as well have been a basketball player, he was so tall, declared, ‘I did.What about it?’ The cowboy knew he was beat, and he cut his eyes to his boots as he said, ‘He’s ready for the second coat.’ My purdy badge is the big ol’ biker dude. And you’re the cowboy.”

“Typical FBI agent, always trying to intimidate someone.”

“Oh, I am not your typical FBI agent. I’m much worse. Now, how about that press conference?”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

As I step up to the podium, cameras flash and film rolls. Time for the show, but not a script. I just wing it, dig in deep, and wade through the same bullshit I’m about to spew. “Good evening, everyone,” I start. “Many of you know me before I ever introduce myself. I am FBI Agent Lilah Love-Mendez. I grew up here. I went to school here. And yes, my mother graced many small and big screens, right here in our small community and beyond. My father, of course, is the future governor of our great state.” There are cheers from the fools who believe him a good man with aspirations to help them and their state prosper. I’d call them fools, but my father wears the disguise of an angel while playing with the devil. I go on. “My brother is your beloved chief.” More cheers. So many cheers, and as a sister, I am filled with pride. I leave out the part where he’s leaving, but there are shouts of, “Don’t go! We need you!”There you go, Taylor, and fuck you, too.

“And most importantly,” I continue with a dramatic pause, “I am a citizen of this town, where my memories run deep, my devotion deeper, and my addiction to Micki’s Diner’s strawberry pie has brought me great joy.” There are a number of agreements from the audience before I add, “I begin this press conference with my history simply so you know my commitment to this town, to our people, our community. And so, let’s get to it.

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