Page 15 of For Fake's Sake and other stories

“He didn’t call?”

“No, what difference does that make?” Where’s he going with this?

“None. He usually calls because he doesn’t like sending too many texts. He says it’s easier to call than wait for messages to go back and forth.”

I don’t know what to say, so I stay quiet. The tube is busy, and Jack seems engrossed in his phone. Either that orhe’s ignoring me. Does he know what’s going on? My stomach churns, and that’s so not like me. I’m the confident, cocky one, the flirty and funny guy, but Ollie has changed me. And I’m perfectly happy with that. The days of one-night stands and short-lived affairs are over. I’m ready to be his forever after. I want to be his forever after.

We get off the tube and trudge up the stairs, elbowing our way through a throng of people wanting to get out of work mode and into the Friday evening and weekend vibe.

When we reach the top, Jack claps me on the back. “See you later, Kit.”

“Oh, okay. You’re not coming to the pub?”

“Nah, I’m not in the mood. I’m going crash in front of the TV tonight.”

“See you later, then.” Jack goes to the right, while I go straight ahead to the pub.

Inside, it’s busy with chattering and laughing people. I look around. Is Ollie here already? There. He’s sitting at a small table in the corner, a pint that’s still almost full in front of him, so I grab one for myself and weave through the clusters of men and women.

“Hey, Ollie.” My greeting startles him, and he looks up, his face flushed.

“Oh, hi, Kit. Thanks for coming.”

“Ollie, we’ve got together every Friday for the last seven weeks. It’s not a problem. How’ve you been? We haven’t spoken much this week. Is everything okay?” I sit opposite him.

He looks at me and then away again before taking a drink. “I can’t do this anymore, Kit. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come with me next week. It’s all got too complicated. I’m not good at pretending, and I won’t be able to pull off thatwe’re not really boyfriends. School was hard enough for me, and to have to deal with all the scrutiny of those men won’t work. I’m sorry.”

“What’s happened, Ollie? Why have you decided this now?”

“I’ve been feeling it for a while now. I should’ve told you earlier. I really hoped it would be okay, but I don’t want to mess you around any longer. It’s not fair on you.”

“It is me? Is it because I kissed you? I know I shouldn’t have, that I crossed a line. I’m sorry.”

“No, Kit. Don’t apologise. It’s nothing you’ve done. It’s all on me.” He looks over his shoulder at the crowded bar, then back at me. “I’m sorry.” He stands and kisses my cheek. “You’re a lovely man, Kit. Thanks for everything.”

He moves through the groups of people like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I hate that I’ve caused him to be so unhappy. I hate the bastards who bullied him at school, thinking it was fun. I hate Monty fucking Atkinson for making him do this in the first place. But the person I hate the most is myself. I should’ve owned up to my feelings for him and asked him out properly. I’m a damn fool. I don’t deserve him.

Without drinking my pint, I leave the bar. At home, I turn my phone off and lock myself in my room. Adam tries to coax me out, but I ignore him, and eventually, he stops. Thank god it’s my Saturday off tomorrow. I can’t deal with Jack and his questions and accusations. After having a shower and slinging on a pair of sweatpants, I collapse on my bed. I pour some of the red wine I purchased at the off-license in my water glass. I have every intention of drinking the entire bottle. Hopefully, it’ll do the trick and lull me to sleep without thoughts of Ollie and how much I’ve fallen for him.

Jack stares at me like I’ve grown an extra head, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish. “You’re a dickhead. You know that, right? That man is crazy about you, and you dumped him.”

“How can I have dumped him? We weren’t together. It was all pretend, a way to get Monty off my back.”

“Argh.” He shakes his head and walks away but spins around again. “If you think that, you’re a fucking idiot.” He slams the door shut on his way out.

Okay, that didn’t go too well. I thought my best friend would be on my side, but he’s all about Kit and how he feels. I’ve managed to steer clear of Jack all weekend, but now it’s Sunday evening, and I had to tell him before he goes to work tomorrow. If I’m honest with myself, I feel worse than I expected.

All week, I tried to decide about Kit and how I feel about him. Or rather tried and persuaded myself I didn’t feel anything for him. Yeah, well, fat chance. I hesitated between asking him out to make it official and have him as my boyfriend for real and telling him I don’t want him to come to the gala. When we met on Friday, I had my answer. He looked so gorgeous, so perfect. All the horrible men who had made my life a misery would never believe I could have someone as handsome as Kit. They would see through our fake relationship, and I’d be the butt of theirjokes again. I’d rather go alone than subject him to them and the way they would tease me.

If only it didn’t hurt so much. If only I’d told him I was falling for him, even if he said he wasn’t into me. I want to put him behind me, and having him turn me down would’ve made him the bad guy. But that’s not fair. Kit’s a good guy, too good for me. I’ve been tempted to call him to say sorry again, persuade him to have me back, but I didn’t give in. So I’ve had my phone turned off all weekend. Now all I have to do is get my speech word-perfect, get through this week and the gala on Saturday, and then it will all be over. I can forget all about Kit.

When I get home from work, Jack is in the kitchen. Should I ask him if he’s spoken to Kit? His scowl tells me that won’t go over well.

“Hi, you okay? How was work?”

“It was fine, the usual. I’m going out tonight. I’ve got the day off tomorrow, and I fancy a drink.” He passes by me.

“Jack, what’s going on? Why are you taking this so personally? You didn’t want to come with me to the gala. It was your idea to ask Kit to be my fake boyfriend. Now you look like I’ve kicked your puppy. You have to remember it wasn’t real. Kit and I… we weren’t boyfriends. This doesn’t have anything to do with you. You don’t have the right to behave like this. You’re supposed to be my best friend. Why can’t you see it from my point of view? Monty and his cronies would have taken the piss of us all night, and we’d be behind all the jokes, the crude remarks about our sex life. Do you think I wanted to put Kit through that?”

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