Page 14 of For Fake's Sake and other stories

“You know what’s going on, Ollie.”

This is getting out of hand.

I’m going to have to stop this.

It’s not what we agreed.

Kit’s not interested in me, not like that. He would’ve asked me out the night Jack brought him to the bar. He joked and said it could be fun.

“Kit.” I can’t think of what to say. My brain has disconnected itself from my mouth.

“Don’t worry about it, Ollie. Everything is fine, I promise.” He lets go of my hand and leans back in his chair. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. I hate the tightness there, and I hate it even more that I don’t know how to fix it.

By the time our meal is delivered, he’s back to his normal sunny self and tells me about his mother’s monthly Sunday lunch.

“The poor man didn’t know what to do with himself. I’m not even sure he was gay.” He laughs. “I may have to take you to the next one so she’ll think you’re my boyfriend and leave me alone.”

And there we have it. He doesn’t want anything more than being a fake boyfriend. For him, it’s simply something fun to do.

We’ve finished eating and are waiting for the bill. I pull out my wallet, but Kit stops me. “I’ve got it. It was my choice tonight. It’s only fair I pay for it too.”

When we get outside, I flag down a cab. “Do you want to share this one?” I ask. The strange look is back on his face again. He pulls me towards him, cups my face, and kisses me. This is like the first one we shared when Monty was bugging me. He slips his tongue over the seam of my lips with enough pressurefor me to open for him. He tastes of the mints he had from the plate with the bill. The strong, possessive way he commands the kiss has me going weak at the knees. He strokes his tongue over mine, caressing and cajoling me to join in. It’s heavenly. I can imagine it like this as he lies over me, sliding into my body and owning me. Then it’s over with, and he winks.

“No, we live in opposite directions. I’ll get my own. See you on Friday.” He steps back as I get into the cab. The cab pulls out into the traffic, and I stare straight ahead, not giving in to the urge to look back at him.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I haven’t heard from Ollie for four days. Nothing. Not even a text telling me to get lost. I shouldn’t have kissed him. But it seems that’s all I’m capable of when I see him. He’s so cute it scrambles my brain, and I’m lost for words. So the only thing I can come up with is kiss him, but then I think I’ve gone too far and I’m so embarrassed I run for the hills. He was wavering about our arrangement, but I thought maybe he would realise I want more than being a pretend boyfriend. I want to be his real boyfriend. I want to hold his hand and kiss him whenever I feel like it. I want to strip him down and claim him. I want my mouth on every part of him, taste him, lick him, love him. Now I’ve messed it all up, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

“Kit, are you listening?” Jack clicks his fingers in front of my face.

“Huh, sorry, no. What did you say?”

“I said what time are you meeting Ollie tonight? The reunion is only a week away now. Have you learnt everything you need to know? Shoe size, favourite food, what his parents do for a living, where his favourite place to holiday is?” He gives me a sly smile. “Whether he dresses to the left or the right?”

I ignore the jibe. “We haven’t arranged to meet tonight. I think we’ve covered everything, and yes to all your questions. I know the answers to all of them.” I walk over to the young, preppy-looking man who’s just walked in, effectively ending the conversation with Jack.

At lunchtime, I check my phone, where a message from Ollie is waiting for me.

Ollie: Can we meet up tonight?

Me: Yes, definitely. Where?

Ollie: The Orchard Bar, near me?

Me: Okay, what time?

Ollie: I’ll be there after six.

Me: See you then

I frown at my phone. It doesn’t feel right. There was no friendliness, no smiley faces. I’m not sure what’s going to happen tonight. I’m less sure I want to know.

I don’t say anything to Jack until the end of the day and we’re getting ready to leave. I put my coat on, wrap my scarf around my neck, and pick up my bag. “I’m meeting Ollie in a little bit, so I’ll be coming back with you.”

“Oh, okay. When did he call?”

“He sent me a message.”

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