Page 86 of Quake

“Yes, if your pet is sick, you should take them to get help like you would your children, but not everyone has the means. And then there are the people who say if you can’t afford to care for your pet properly, why have one at all? Who’s to say these people have always been living in the current circumstances?”

Gianni clamps a hand on my thigh, squeezing it as he listens, seemingly enraptured by every detail. “Maybe they just lost their job or their home to a natural disaster or literally any number of things that could change a person’s life to make something as simple as a vet visit nearly impossible. So, that’s where Toute la Famille pet clinic started,” I say, smiling brightly.

“I wanted to offer around-the-clock veterinary care to those who need it while only accepting the bare minimum payment from those who can afford it, and those who can’t, well, they’re supported by donations from people who visit our website and on occasion, from my dad when I come crawling to him for the money. He has literally never cared, but I try my best to support myself, so he knows that one day when he’s not around, I’llbe okay.” I give him a small smile, squeezing my hands together, suddenly feeling shy. “Sorry, that was a lot more detail than you probably needed.”

He cups my jaw, dragging it up so I can see his face more clearly. “I want every detail you’re willing to give me,” he says, pressing a tender kiss to my forehead, and more butterflies flap around in my gut.

“So, you don’t want to bother him with the cost of a pump? I’ve been reading up on the different kinds offered, and some of them are covered by insurance too. Though there are a couple at the top of my list due to reliability, so if those aren’t covered, I’d like to just buy one for you as a gift,” he tells me. “The one I’d really like you to get is called a tubeless insulin pump or something. It’s compatible with your CGM and it uses an automated insulin delivery system that determines when and how much insulin you need based on the numbers recorded by your CGM.”He’s been researching insulin pumps for me?

Tears prick the corners of my eyes, and not for the first time tonight.Where did I find this man?He’s so much better than I could’ve thought up, even in my wildest dreams.

“I’ve also read that the majority of people your age with type 1 diabetes have had a pump most of their lives since they’re more reliable and easier than jabbing a kid multiple times a day. Why didn’t you get one as a kid?” he asks. Nothing in his tone is judgemental; he’s just curious.

“Type 1 diabetes is usually diagnosed in childhood, and there are two common age ranges when it first becomes apparent. That’s ages four to six years and ten to fourteen years, though it’s diagnosed in babies and everyone in between too. I was diagnosed at fourteen, and since I played contact sports, I refused to get oneeven though my dad pleaded with me. He was always big on autonomy as long as I wasn’t doing anything that could hurt myself or others. So when I explained that not only was I embarrassed about wearing a pump, but that I’d read that the tubing gets tangled and causes the possibility of injury, he let me continue with the injections.”

“How’d you make it through veterinary school having to manage your insulin without a pump?”

“I had been doing it like I am now for so many years that it’s just become second nature, like brushing your teeth or showering. And like I said, I haven’t really thought about it recently, but I’ll look into my insurance and see what it covers,” I assure him. “I think it could be nice to not have to worry about dosing myself or running out of insulin. I just have to make sure to refill the pump, but it’ll remind me. Most new ones will.”

“And what about if your insurance doesn’t cover it? Will you please tell me?”

I nod, knowing he won’t let this go even if I ask him to. He cares, and that’s more than can be said for my ex.

“I’ll tell you if it doesn’t. Unfortunately, the thing about running a clinic that’s as close to nonprofit as possible is that I don’t really make any money at all, and I still have to pay my employees, so I don’t have a whole lot of savings, but I’m lucky. I still have more than I need.”

“Well, if there’s anything youwantorneed,you just say the word, and it’s yours, okay? I have far more thanIneed, and I’m happy to spend it on my girl.” His words swirl around inside me. There he goes again, being the most incredible person I know and making me feel like maybe he feels the same about me too.My girl.

Before I can ask him the question that’s sitting at the tip of my tongue, he says, “Will you tell me more about your mom?”

“What do you wanna know?” I ask.

“Anything you want to tell me,” he says. His features are relaxed as he pulls me closer to his chest, waiting for my response.

“Well, she was always the brightest person in any room. Figuratively and literally.” I chuckle.

“She wore these bright-colored sundresses everywhere and always looked like she was moments from heading to the beach on any given day. She had this way of understanding exactly what you were going through without saying as much and just letting you be so you could simmer in it. I always knew I could work through anything that was bothering me so long as she was by my side.”

The memories that stir inside me warm me to my core as I’m brought back to the months before she’d left. “She taught me to paint, and for my birthday, she would take me anywhere I wanted to go so we could collect an item for each year of my life and turn it into art so we could hold onto those memories forever.”

Sadness threatens to take hold as I think of that twelfth birthday. We’d never made it to that one. “She was the best person I knew, second only to my dad,” I joke. Truthfully, they were always equals. “Even when she’d have bad days or weeks and wouldn’t take her medication, she was always in there somewhere. Her bold ideas were just larger and all-consuming during those times, but she was still at the forefront of them.”

Gianni sits in silence, taking in my words and allowing me to sit with the heavy feeling, not trying to use humor to break through the shift in the air surrounding us. Much like my mom, he acts as a calming presence to just let me feel.

“From what Dante remembers of our mom and the family videos we grew up watching, it sounds like our moms were a lot alike,” he says, his voice quiet and thoughtful.

“I like to think they’d be proud of us,” I tell him, my voice small. He pulls me into his chest, and I bury my face into his comforting embrace.

“Do you know why I call you my starry sky?” I finally ask, my voice barely above a whisper, and I’m hoping he’s had some time to finally work this out for himself.

“No,” he tells me simply. “But I’d like to understand.” Gianni presses a kiss on the top of my head. Who’d have thought that something so simple could be the most comforting thing I’ve ever experienced?

I peek up at him, and wait until his eyes meet mine. “I call you my starry sky because even through all of that darkness swirling around in your head, you still manage to act as a bright star for those around you.” I feel my cheeks heat, and the way his lips part convinces me to keep speaking. “As corny as it sounds, it’s like you’re the North Star, leading your loved ones home, even when you yourself have been led astray. I don’t think you even realize the impact you have on the people around you.” I whisper the last words. “I’ve only known you for such a short time, and you’ve brightened my life in nearly every moment of that time,” I admit.

He runs a hand down the back of my head, pressing my cheek against his before he whispers against my ear, “Thank you.”

Two simple words that mean so little when spoken from the mouth of someone else, but they weigh more than the entire universe when breathed past the lips of this incredible man.

1. Animal I Have Become — Three Days Grace

---