Page 245 of Vile Boys

When I first met her, I wanted nothing more than to see her cry. To witness the hatred that I deserved just so I could make peace with all the pain I endured. Fear was the only feeling I knew, the only feeling I trusted.

Fear was what I was owed.

But she … she wouldn’t fear me, no matter what I or any of us did, and it twisted my heart.

My fingertips slide down her cheek, spreading my own blood across her skin, which comes alive under my touch. Electricity sparks between us, and a decrepit smile slowly sneaks onto my face.

I guess there’s no escaping now.

“I wanted to hate you, little rose,” I murmur. “So badly. But the more I watched you suffer as much as I had, the more it made me bleed.” My finger slides down her neck, spreading the bloody line to her chest. “This heart I longed so hard to crumble with my bare hands just so I could die in peace. What kind of a soul-crushing monster would fall for the one girl who wanted him dead?”

Her eyes widen, but I have to push through.

This is it.

“I’ve only known cruelty. But in the end, I was the cruel one to take away your smile. The one thing that kept me alive. Breathing. Yearning. Hoping. When that smile vanished …” She sucks in a breath when I inch closer. “My soul vanished too.”

She shudders in place. “Ares …”

I look into those sparkling eyes, wondering if I could ever earn back that smile that has haunted me so.

I grab her hand, the one that holds the knife, and push it into my own abdomen. “You’ve taken ahold of my soul. Stolen it right out of my chest along with my heart. All that’s left of me is an empty vessel. I’m nothing but a ghost wandering through life, but I’m not the one who haunts. It isyou. You have haunted me since the very first day I saw you, and I don’t want to let go until I’ve killed everyone who even so much as breathes in your direction.” I pause and watch her breathing pick up. “I am a man possessed. Possessed by the fantasy of owning this heart …” I push my fingertip into her chest, blood connecting with blood. “This heart that never wanted to be mine because of the pain I’ve put it through. This heart poisoned by my hatred. And no amount of pain my father inflicts on me compares to that kind of suffering.”

I sink to my knees in front of her, holding her wrist tightly so the knife is pushed into my neck. “So take your revenge, little rose, and end my suffering,” I murmur. “Please.”

“Ares, no!” Caleb shouts, and I throw him a glance.

“Don’t,” Blaine says, grabbing his arm. “Let him do this. I know it’s hard for you, but you have to let it happen.”

Caleb’s face contorts, but he finally gives up fighting the inevitable.

Crystal averts her gaze, but I want her to see me, the real me. “Look at me,” I say, forcing our eyes to find each other in our darkest moment. “He named me Ares because he wanted to raise a god. I was made to rule his fucking empire, and there is nothing in this world I would bend for, not even him … But I will for you.”

CRYSTAL

I try to breathe, but my lungs have never felt more constricted than they do now.

Ares is on his knees … for me … beggingmeto end his life, all because he’s made me hate him.

I can’t.

I can’t even move a muscle, let alone drive this knife farther into his skin.

Even though I’ve so desperately wanted to kill him all this time.

Ares didn’t murder my father. He took the blame and went through so much pain because of his death. Knowing what it would cost him, he still refused.

All those scars, layers upon layers, every decision he made, led him to anguish … Led him to me.

Knowing what I know now … How could I ever kill him?

“Blaine was right. You’ve managed to bring a god to his knees, little rose,” Ares says. “What does that make of you?”

He doesn’t release my wrist as he pushes it farther and farther into his neck.

His lip tips up into a cold smile. “A goddess.”

My whole body begins to shake as the knife pushes into his neck. The neck of the man I once thought I wanted to murder in cold blood. The man I swore would never break me.

---