Page 93 of Heart of Thorns

He chuckles. “It’s okay. This is a first for me, too.”

His arm clamps over my hip, and he pulls me closer to him. We’re spooning, and I can’t ignore the feel of his hard length against my backside.

“Who said this is a first for me?” I tease.

He makes a noise. “Right. I forgot.Ben.” He says his name with disgust, and I wrinkle my nose at the thought of waking up beside my ex.

“Is this really a first for you?” I ask. Surely that’s not true.

His warm breath coats my neck when he sighs. “Yeah, kitten. It is.”

I blink in disbelief. “How?”

There’s a long pause. He’s holding his breath, I try to turn toward him, but he keeps me in place and exhales. “I don’t like people touching me.”

I’m skeptical. “I touch you.”

His nose skims the inside of my neck. “You’re notpeople.”

I flop onto my back and find him staring down at me with a furrowed brow. Eventually, he flops onto his back, too.

“I’ve never told anyone this,” he starts.

There’s a slip in his voice, like he’s nervous. I intertwine our fingers but stay lying on my back so I don’t put too much pressure on him.

“But I have this… aversion to touch. I’ve been like this since I was a child.”

“Aversion?” I press.

His hand squeezes mine. I’m not even sure he realizes he’s doing it.

“Whenever someone touches me for too long, I start to panic.” He chuckles quietly and tries to pull his hand away. I keep it trapped until he relaxes. “It’s embarrassing, honestly. I’d actually hyperventilated from it a few times when I was younger.”

“More embarrassing than me being afraid to cook because of the open flame?”

He glances over at me but then turns away to continue.

“I didn’t really understand why until I was old enough to put two and two together. It’s because of my father.”

My heart races.

I hate him even more now.

“He used to say he was teaching me to face my fears, but I think he just wanted to control me.”

“What did he do?” My voice is more of a croak.

“He forced me to face whatever fear I had. Swimming? He held me underwater until I passed out.”

I try to hide my shock, but Thorne shifts at the sound of my parting lips.

“Afraid of monsters under my bed? He turned the lights off, shoved me underneath, and kept me there until I stopped fighting him.”

My heart hurts.

It protests inside my chest. Like if it could crawl from my body and go into his, it would.

“There’s more, but I’ll save you the trauma.” He shrugs away his emotions. “The more he did it, the more I hated being touched. It made me feel… smothered.” A chill works through his body.

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