Page 44 of Heart of Thorns

Some guys from the team and their girls are going to grab pizza after practice.

I was thinking it could be a good first outing. We can discuss, of course, but we’ve got to jump in the deep end sometime.

Me

We’re nowhere near ready for the deep end.

Pizza and what? Hand-holding?

Sure.

No kissing.

Roger that, grumpy cat.

I clickmy phone off and sigh.

The mirror doesn’t play tricks. This is as good as it gets. It’s been a long time since I’ve been concerned with how I dress. Even before the accident, I didn’t let a date or some guyinfluence how I wanted to dress, yet my stomach fills with dread the longer I stare at myself.

Black jeans, black oversized sweater, and my black boots. The ones with the loose laces and the orthotics from my physical therapist to helpcorrectmy limp.

“You look fine.”

I eye Lydia leaning against the doorway and turn with a huff. “Good, because I’m not changing.”

I don’t even know why I’m so concerned over this. It’s not like I’m trying toimpressThorne.

“I will say…” Lydia enters my room and sits on my bed, which isn’t the norm for us. However, since I let her in on my plan to fake date Thorne, we’ve been much friendlier than usual. My usual grumpiness has gone down a notch. “You arenotThorne’s type.”

I look at the mirror again. “What is his type?”

“Rich girls,” she says. “You know, the type with bleach-blonde hair, fake boobs at the age of nineteen, caked-on makeup, and high-end clothes with matching purses.”

A choked laugh falls from my mouth. I spin with my eyebrows raised high. “Well he’s going to be disappointed to see me then.”

Lydia playfully rolls her eyes. “Yeah right, Hart. You’re hot and you have this black cat vibe about you. I think you excite Thorne. Whether this is a fake relationship or not.”

Yeah, okay.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asks, softening her voice.

I sigh. “No, it’s fine. I have to be a big girl, I guess.”

She laughs.

“I’ll bring you back some pizza.”

“Extra cheese, please.”

I shoot her a thumbs-up, grab my bag, and head straight for doom.

The pizzeria is packed.

I’ve been here a few times with Ben, but everything frombeforeseems so distant. Almost as if it was another life. The girl I used to be is a fuzzy dream that lies on the outer parts of my brain.

In fact, I completely forget how to act.

What do I do?

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