Page 23 of Court of Twisted Angels

"I-" The words catch in my throat as his gaze drops to my lips.

The air grows heavy with more than just magical energy. Every point of contact between us burns like fire, yet I can't bring myself to pull away. His wings shift slightly, the pure white feathers catching the filtered sunlight in a way that creates a halo effect around us.

One of his hands moves to steady my waist, fingers splaying across my lower back. The touch sends a jolt through me that has nothing to do with magic. My own hands rest against his chest,and beneath my palm I can feel his heart beating as rapidly as mine.

"Kyrie." My name comes out as barely more than a whisper, rough with something I've never heard in his voice before.

The tension crackles between us like lightning before a storm, charged with possibility and unspoken words. Ancient magic swirls in lazy patterns around our feet, responding to the intensity of the moment.

Without conscious thought, I close the remaining distance between us. I can't lie and say I haven't been attracted to him. He's gorgeous, even more so than most xaphan, but I also have never felt so comfortable around anyone. This yearning has been building and right now, it's ripping away my doubt as I wrap my arms around his neck.

Our lips meet, and the world explodes into pure sensation. His mouth is warm and demanding against mine, one hand sliding up my back while the other cradles my head. Magic crackles around us, responding to the surge of emotions - ribbons of purple light dancing through the air.

Azrael's wings curl tighter, cocooning us in a shelter of soft white feathers that shimmer with their own inner light. The magical energy between us pulses stronger, creating a feedback loop of power that makes my skin tingle and my heart race. Each point where our bodies touch feels electrified.

He tastes like lightning and starlight, something ancient and powerful that makes my head spin. His fingers thread through my hair, angling my face to deepen the kiss. I clutch at his shoulders, feeling the solid strength beneath my hands as he pulls me closer.

Time loses all meaning in this moment. There is only the press of his lips against mine, the steady beat of his heart under my palm, the soft brush of his wings against my skin.

I pull back first, the magic-charged air between us crackling as our lips part. My heart pounds against my ribs like a caged bird seeking freedom. Azrael's wings slowly unfurl, letting in streams of light that break the intimate cocoon we'd created.

The reality of my situation hits me like a blast of winter wind. I was just kissing a xaphan. One who is training me to go through trials meant to kill me. One who might lead to my death. One who I don't know if I can really trust.

What the fuck was I thinking?

"I can't." My voice cracks. I step back, breaking contact with his warmth. The loss of his touch leaves me cold despite the warmth of the day. "This isn't- I'm not-"

Azrael watches me with those piercing ice-blue eyes, his expression unreadable. His wings shift, catching the light in ways that make my chest ache with their beauty. But I've learned firsthand that the most beautiful things are the most deadly.

My fingers brush my lips, still tingling from his kiss. The gesture draws his gaze, and the intensity there makes my stomach flip. Desire wars with duty, leaving me dizzy and unsure. The magic in my blood responds to my emotional state, creating small whirlwinds of fallen leaves around my feet.

"The trials," I manage to say, taking another step back. "I need to focus on the trials. On getting the medicine. I can't afford distractions."

Azrael nods, swallowing hard. For a moment, I can see it there on his face. I think he knows that's not the reason, but he doesn't call me out on it. He only steps back, his wings pinching in. "I think that's enough for today.

Then, he's gone.

I bolt upright in bed,sweat-soaked sheets tangled around my legs. The nightmare clings like water, refusing to fade even as moonlight streams through my window. In my mind, white wings still flash with deadly grace, steel glinting in the sun as the xaphan's blade arcs toward me.

The phantom pain burns across my back, tracing the path of my scar. I press my hand against my racing heart, trying to steady my breathing. The small crystal lights on my ceiling flicker to life, responding to me as I move.

I was reliving that day. It feels like I'm always reliving that day. The memory haunts me, feeling worse now that I slipped up with Azrael. I let myself give into this desire that I can't even believe I have when I shouldn't trust me.

He's a fucking trainer here for gods' sake!

"I- I'm not trying to cause any trouble."

"No? Too bad." Electricity crackles through the air. "Trouble was exactly what I was looking for."

I kick free of the sheets, pacing my small room to try to rid myself of the memory still clinging to me. The rock is cool beneath my bare feet. Outside, night birds call to each other across the human quarter, their songs a poor imitation of the ethereal music that drifts down from New Solas's golden spires.

After the initiation, we were given free reign to find our own rooms. I was lucky enough to find a small one tucked away in the back corner, claiming it to be only my own. I barricade the door each night and I manage to get decent sleep when I don’t feel like I’m going to be attacked by the others.

My fingers trace the rough-hewn stones of my bedroom wall, focusing on their solid reality to ground myself. But even thissimple touch brings back memories of this morning's training - of Azrael's hands guiding mine, his wings creating a shelter of white feathers around us.

How can I reconcile these two truths? The xaphan who scarred me, who saw me as less than nothing, and Azrael with his patient instruction and gentle touches. Both beautiful, both deadly, both capable of destroying everything I hold dear.

The kiss replays in my mind, electric and dangerous. It felt…Fuck, I'd never felt anything like it. I could have drowned in him. Even now I crave him. But the memory tangles with the nightmare - white wings and steel, pain and pleasure, trust and terror.

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