How does he manage it?
Hismom will be here any moment, and I’m still trembling.
I’m in a daze.
How the fuck am I going to pull this off?
Swan sits behind me, pulling a brush gently through my hair. Something about the familiarity of the gesture, which reminds me of every morning that Swan would do this for me in the academy, settles me.
We both need this.
Swan found me in the library in the middle of the night, crawling in to join me in the nest. When I felt his cheek resting on my shoulder, it was wet.
Ambrose must have told him the truth.
Felix was Swan’s friend. More than that, he’d taken on the unofficial father role in the academy to the younger dancers.
Felix was the kind Beta who helped Swan survive his childhood and adapt to the strict rules of the academy.
Just like me, Swan thought that someone he loved had been sent into exile or captivity, when in fact, they’d been murdered.
Even in this grief, we’re united.
I fucking wish that we weren’t.
This morning, Swan pulled on his crumpled gray suit. Then he fetched me a lavender dress, pulling it over my head and doing up the buttons for me because even that felt beyond me. My fingers felt like they no longer worked.
“They used your mom to control you.” Swan places down the brush, tidying my hair behind my ear. “They used our fear of what happened if you ran like Felix in the same way. But we’re free now. They can’t control us through those fears anymore.”
I give a bitter smile. “Then I’d rather be caged.”
“Would you? It was all lies. Who wants to live trapped in an illusion?”
I grit my teeth. “I’m going to get justice for Mom.”
Swan helps me to my feet, smoothing out both our clothes like he needs something to do with his hands. “For Felix too.”
“And Amby. Jacob and his own mom stabbed him and threatened to kill him. He was still a kid but he’s been silenced by this secret.”
Swan’s eyes flame. “He’s been forced to live in darkness. He’s been controlled by it too.”
“It’s three minutes and twenty eight seconds past nine, precisely.” Benedict leans in the doorway. “The Head Alpha and Laurent have arrived. They’re twenty-seven minutes ahead of schedule. My routine is wrong, wrong, wrong. They’re in the lounge with the Alphas. Olivia dragged me out of bed and then sent me here to collect you. We’re meant to present ourselves.”
Benedict is quivering.
These changes and surprises are wrecking him.
He looks like he’s just woken up and thrown his clothes on in a panic.
Benedict’s velvet suit with a waistcoat that’s covered in gold threaded fox designs is creased. Several buttons on his waistcoat and shirt beneath are undone.
An Oxford cravat is loosely tied around his neck.
Seeing him and smelling how curdled his honey scent is in his distress, snaps me back into the present.
My mind is clearer.
I’ve lost Mom, along with my wish and hope to be united with her.