Page 50 of The Holiday Fail

The way he glowed as he spoke about this project showed just how passionate he was about feeding people. He cared about people even if he tried to deny it. And there was one thing that was very clear: he loved cooking.

I’d been under the delusion that if I showed Andy howperfect we were together, I’d be able to convince him we were perfectherein Wintertown. But after hearing about this plan, this tiny part of his bigger goal, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to him. I couldn’t ask him to give up his dreams in New York to stay here with me, just like how I couldn’t ever leave the B&B and Wintertown behind.

Besides, we’d never discussed the specifics of our relationship aside from agreeing that we wouldn’t talk about it. So maybe the glimpses of affection I saw in those tender moments were all in my head and didn’t mean anything at all.

Andy had a home to return to, and I was lucky enough to have him for the short time he was here.

I just had to remember that.

Chapter Twenty-One

ANDY

My heart was loud in my chest as I waited for Levi’s decision. He looked through the packet again, pausing to take a longer read on the page where I detailed out the holiday event we could host at the B&B.

I knew it was a lot to ask for, and I was being presumptuous to make the B&B even busier than it already was during a time he might want to be spending with family, but I’d been one of those people who had nowhere to go on the holidays besides a cheap fast-food joint that didn’t give a flying fuck about me.

It was the shittiest feeling in the world to see everyone happily enjoying time with their families while feeling like wasted space.

So I was passionate about bringing this project to life at the B&B. Even if it was just this one holiday season, I could at least give them a sense of belonging for a little while.

Plus, itwouldlook good on my resume to put that not only did I spearhead the expansion of a restaurant, but I’d hosted events for the community as well.

If I was being honest, I hadn’t given my resume muchthought recently. Gaining experience to show the fancy places in New York was the reason I was so determined to make the restaurant expansion work, but the more research I put into the idea, the less I thought about New York.

I was having fun setting things up, chatting with the locals, and hearing what life around here was like, and knowing that I could make a difference for the people here.

There weren’t many eatery options in town, so opening the B&B restaurant to everyone would be mutually beneficial to the town and the B&B’s pockets. Iknewthis idea would work, but as I watched Levi review the material, doubts still formed.

You’ll never make anything of yourself.

Those voices that sounded like a mixture of my parents and my inner dialogue were loud in my ears. The doubts had always chased after me, but they were especially annoying in moments like these, tearing down my confidence despite having a solid plan.

Levi finally looked up at me and smiled.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do this.”

“Really? And you’re saying that because you think this will actually work and be beneficial to the B&B and not because we’re…”

My words fell off, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

Sleeping together?

It was accurate, but it felt too cheap to describe our relationship that way because Levi and I were more than that. We cared about each other and sought each other out whenever there was a free moment, hell we even slept in each other’s arms every night.

I might have been the one who told him I didn’t have time to be distracted by a relationship, but I’d failed at keeping my distance from him.

Levi and I were already in a full-blown relationship. Wejust hadn’t put a label on it, and I was starting to hate my past self for agreeing to keep this casual.

Past Andy should have known that once things started with Levi, I’d be captured under his spell. That was how it’d always been since the first night I’d met him and took him back to the B&B with me. Then again, I couldn’t resist agreeing to help him with his dating life, and we all knew how that went.

Now, I didn’t want Levi dating anyone except me, but thinking that and saying it out loud were two different things. Besides, the fact I was returning to New York come March still hadn’t changed.

Although, these days, I didn’t think about the big city as much anymore. I still wanted to make something of myself,to prove my worth, but a small part of me wondered why I couldn’t do that here…

I glanced at Levi, who was staring at the packet of papers I’d put together and nibbling on his bottom lip. He hadn’t said anything about my comment either. I wanted to know his thoughts. Would he even want me to stay? Because if he asked…I think I might agree.

Levi looked up again, determination in his eyes.

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